Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The tables illustrate the total population of New York city and the five districts of the city between 1800 and 2000. Overall, New York had the highest number of population, while the districts included: Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, and Staten Island had fluctation over the two decade.

In 1800, the residents in New York city were 79,216, and the district like Manhattan had the higher number with 60,515, at 76%. While in other districts in Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten Island had lower digits with 18,701 at 24%. Meanwhile, the numbers of citizens decreased to 54% in Manhattan, other districts at 46%, but the total number increased in New York city to 3,437,202, respectively.

In 2000, the data in

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies the topic and reports some accurate figures, including the 1800 total and Manhattan’s population and share. However, it only addresses the data partially: the 2000 paragraph stops at “the data in,” so the major later changes are not reported, including the city’s rise to 8,009,185, Manhattan’s fall to 1,538,096, and the other districts’ growth to 6,471,089 (81%). The overview is also inaccurate: “New York had the highest number of population” does not describe a meaningful comparison, and the claim that the districts had “fluctation” is unclear. The response is 119 words, below the required 150. To improve, complete the comparison across all three years and give a clear overview of the shift in population toward the other districts.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an introduction, an overview, and chronological paragraphs, and time markers such as “In 1800” and “In 2000” help signal the intended sequence. However, progression is incomplete because the final paragraph ends after “the data in,” leaving the comparison unfinished. Connections between ideas are sometimes unclear: “Meanwhile” introduces figures for 1900 without naming the year, while “respectively” has no clear paired items to refer to. The sentence beginning “While in other districts” is also left as a dependent clause rather than being connected smoothly to the preceding point. Use complete paragraphs for each period or group the figures by trend, and make references and linking words precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant vocabulary for describing population data, including “total population,” “residents,” “increased,” and “decreased.” This gives it a minimally adequate range for the task. However, several choices are inaccurate or awkward and sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. “Highest number of population” is not a natural collocation; “largest population” would be clearer. “Fluctation” is misspelled and does not accurately describe the overall pattern, while “lower digits” is unsuitable for population figures. “The district like Manhattan” and “data in” are also imprecise or incomplete. Aim for standard data-reporting language such as “accounted for,” “rose to,” “fell to,” and “the remaining districts,” and check spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts some complex sentence forms, including “Overall, New York had the highest number of population, while…” and “Meanwhile, the numbers of citizens decreased to 54% in Manhattan…”. However, control is inconsistent, and several sentences are incomplete or awkwardly constructed. “While in other districts … had lower digits” is a dependent clause without a complete main clause, and the final sentence, “In 2000, the data in,” is unfinished. The phrase “the district like Manhattan had the higher number” also has problems with article use and sentence construction. Most sentences rely on simple patterns, with limited accurate variety. Practise writing complete comparisons with clear subjects and verbs, and use subordinate clauses only when they are attached to a complete main clause.

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