Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The first table illustrates changes in the overall population of New York city from 1800 to 200, while other tables compare the changes in the population of the 5 districts of the city in same years.
Overall, In New York the population increased significantly from 1800 to 2000. In Manhattan, the greatest increase in total population occured in the year 1800,whereas in other districts the proportion of population rose in 2000.
In New York city, the population was slighly lower than 80 thousand in 1800 which later increased gradually to [redacted phone] in 1900 and [redacted phone] in 2000.
In the year 1800, Manhattan had the highest population compared with other districts which was 76% higher. In 1900, The population reached at peak in Manhattan which was about 2 million, 54% of total population which later declined in the year 200.
Other districts had 24% of overall population in 1800,which rose to 46% in 1900, whereas other districts recorded the highest proportion of population in 2000 approximately 81% which count for [redacted phone].
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You identify the main overall rise in New York City’s population and make a useful comparison between Manhattan and the other districts. The figures for the city total and the district shares are generally grounded in the tables. However, some key details are unclear or inaccurate: Manhattan’s population did not have its greatest increase in 1800; it rose to a peak in 1900 and then fell by 2000. The phrase “76% higher” also misrepresents the table: Manhattan accounted for 76% of the total, rather than being 76% higher than the other districts. The overview would be stronger if it clearly stated that Manhattan’s share declined while the other districts’ share grew, and if the 2000 Manhattan figure were reported accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about the city total, Manhattan, and the other districts. This gives the reader a basic route through the information. However, progression is weakened by unclear links and inconsistent presentation. For example, “In Manhattan, the greatest increase in total population occured in the year 1800” is difficult to connect to the later statement that the population peaked in 1900. The final two paragraphs could be organised more clearly around the changing shares and populations across all three years. Use paragraphing to group related comparisons, and make references such as “which” and “other districts” unambiguous. Capitalisation after full stops also needs more consistent control.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use relevant task vocabulary such as “overall population,” “proportion,” “declined,” and “recorded,” and the reader can generally understand the comparisons you intend. However, some word choices and collocations are imprecise, including “76% higher,” “reached at peak,” and “which count for 6471089.” These expressions make the data relationships less clear. There are also spelling and form errors, such as “slighly” and “occured,” and “New York city” should be consistently styled as “New York City.” Aim for precise reporting verbs and phrases that distinguish a population figure from a percentage share. This would make the vocabulary more accurate and natural for describing statistical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses linked with “whereas” and “which,” and the main message is usually understandable. However, errors in sentence construction and punctuation are noticeable. For example, “the population reached at peak” has an incorrect grammatical pattern, while “which count for 6471089” has a subject–verb agreement problem and an unclear clause structure. The sentence beginning “In 1800, Manhattan had the highest population … which was 76% higher” also uses a relative clause whose reference is unclear. There are missing spaces after commas and inconsistent capitalisation, as in “In 1900, The population.” Practise accurate clause construction and check punctuation and agreement when editing.
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