Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The first table illustrates the changes in the overall population of New York City between 1800 and 2000, whereas the second and third tables compare the changes in the population of the five districts of the city namely Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten Island throughout the two hundred-year period.

Overall, it is evident that the total number of population in New York City grew significantly through the years. Additionally, the population in Manhattan dropped considerably in the latter years, while the other districts' populations rose noticeably.

Looking first at the total population of New York City, it had 79,216 in 1800, it climbed dramatically in 1900 and 2000 at 3,437,202 and 8,009,185 respectively. By contrast, Manhattan's population decreased drastically from 76% in 1800 to 19% in 2000.

Turning to the other districts, the total population of Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten Island experienced a modest increased, rising from 24% in 1800 to 81% in 2000 accounted for 54 percentage points increase.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall trends accurately: New York City’s population rose substantially, while Manhattan’s share fell and the other districts’ share increased. The overview is clear, and the total-population figures for all three years are correct. This meets the task well in several respects, but some key comparisons are less fully reported. In particular, Manhattan’s population rose from 60,515 to 1,850,093 by 1900 before falling to 1,538,096 in 2000; describing only its percentage decline misses this important change in the actual number of residents. The final sentence also gives percentages but omits the other districts’ population figures, and “54 percentage points increase” does not accurately describe the change from 24% to 81%, which is 57 percentage points. Include these details to make the comparisons more complete and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear four-paragraph structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs presenting details. Its progression from the citywide figures to Manhattan and then the other districts is easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Looking first,” and “Turning to” help signal each stage. The contrast between Manhattan and the other districts is also relevant to the organisation. Some cohesion is less effective because the final paragraph compresses several points into one sentence, making the relationship between the percentage change and the population figures unclear. The phrase “it had 79,216 in 1800, it climbed” also joins two clauses with only a comma. More balanced detail across the body paragraphs and clearer links between figures would strengthen the progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a suitable range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “grew significantly,” “dropped considerably,” and “climbed dramatically.” These choices make the main direction of change clear, and the response remains understandable throughout. However, some word choices and collocations are imprecise or repetitive. “The total number of population” is not a natural expression; use “total population.” “A modest increased” has an incorrect word form and does not fit the very large rise shown. “Accounted for 54 percentage points increase” is also an awkward and inaccurate description of the change. Aim for precise terms such as “population share,” “rose sharply,” and “increased by 57 percentage points,” while varying repeated intensifiers and ensuring that trend language matches the scale of the data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response includes a mix of simple and more complex structures, such as the opening sentence with “whereas” and the overview sentence beginning “Additionally.” Most meanings are clear, and the use of past-tense reporting is generally appropriate. Some grammatical errors remain. In “it had 79,216 in 1800, it climbed,” two independent clauses are joined by a comma; use a full stop, semicolon, or “and.” In “a modest increased,” the adjective should be followed by a noun, for example “a modest increase.” The construction “rising from 24% in 1800 to 81% in 2000 accounted for…” is also incomplete or awkwardly attached; recast it as a complete sentence, such as “Their share rose from 24% to 81%.” More consistently controlled clause connections and sentence patterns would improve accuracy.

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