Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The representation illustrates the information related to the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

In 1800, the number of population of New York City (all five districts) was 79,216.Moreover, Manhattan population was 60,515.But its total population was 76%.Furthermore, other districts (Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) population was 18,701.But its total population was 24%.

In 1900, the number of population of New York City ( all five districts) sharp rise to 3,437,202.Furthermore, Manhattan population was rise sharply to 1,850,093.But its total population was 54%.Moreover, other districts population was 1,587,109.But its total population was 46%.

By 2000, the city population reached 8,009,185 more than double the figure in 1900. However, Manhattan population deceased slightly to 1,538,096 and its total population was 19%. In contrast, other districts( Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten, Island) increased sharply to 6,471,089, accounting for population for 81% of the total population.

Overall, its highest population was 6,471,089 and its total population 81%. Its lowest population was 18,701 and its total population was 24%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You report the main figures for all three years and correctly identify the major shift by 2000: the other districts account for 81% of the city’s population, while Manhattan’s share falls to 19%. The comparison that the 2000 total was more than double the 1900 figure is also accurate. However, the overview is not sufficiently clear or well selected: the closing claim that 6,471,089 was the city’s “highest population” and 18,701 its “lowest” confuses district-group figures with the total population. The response also gives year-by-year details without clearly summarising the overall pattern that the city grew greatly while Manhattan’s population peaked in 1900 and then declined. Make that contrast the focus of a concise overview and describe the figures precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction through the three years and ending with a summary. This makes the information generally easy to follow. However, the year-by-year paragraphs repeat a similar pattern, and the final overview repeats figures without clearly synthesising the main trends. Connectors such as “Moreover,” “Furthermore,” and “But” are used mechanically, and “But” does not express the relationship as clearly as a contrast marker would. Some references are also unclear, particularly “its highest population,” where “its” could refer to the city or the other districts. Grouping the data around the overall growth and the changing shares of Manhattan and the other districts would create a clearer progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “accounting for,” “reached,” and “in contrast,” and the reader can understand the broad comparisons. However, the range is limited and several phrases are unnatural or imprecise, such as “the number of population,” “Manhattan population was rise sharply,” and “accounting for population for 81%.” Repetition of “population” and “total population” also makes the report less fluent. Choose standard collocations such as “the population stood at,” “rose sharply,” and “accounted for 81% of the total.” Take care with word forms and spelling too: “deceased” is not the intended word for a population decline. More precise, varied reporting language would improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some variation, including a contrastive sentence beginning “However” and a comparison using “more than double,” but most sentences follow a simple, repetitive pattern. Errors in sentence construction and verb forms are frequent: “Manhattan population was rise sharply” needs a finite past-tense verb, while “the number of population … sharp rise” lacks a correctly formed verb. Missing spaces after full stops and inconsistent punctuation, as in “79,216.Moreover,” also affect accuracy. Articles and possessives are often omitted in phrases such as “Manhattan population.” Practise forming complete past-tense clauses and combining related facts accurately, for example: “Manhattan’s population rose to …, while its share fell to ….”

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