Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The first chart given illustrate changes in the all citizen of new york city from 1800 to 2000. The second and third table charts given changes in the community of the five province of yhe city (Manhattan,brooklyn,bronx,queens,staten island) over the exact time.

overview, They new york cities are described their all five district and population in this year.

In this detail, In 1800 total population hight on the 79,216.Further, In 1900 the new york city increase the hightest population of 3,[redacted phone]. More, In 2000 increase the rocket value of population of 8,009,185.

In the second paragraph, Manhattan and other district population and thetotal percantage of the year. In 1800 manthan amd other District explained the value of populations 18 to 60,515 increase it and the percentage of only 24 to 76 %. it has smaller change in these value.

Secondly, In 1900 value of population 15 to 18,50,093 jump the value of population and percentage average 46 to 54%. it has no change according firstly.Finally In 2000 population increase the value of 15 to 6,471,089 its a high

value of only 15 to 81 percentage of increas.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the broad subject and include the three years, with the overall city population figures largely reported correctly. However, the overview does not clearly summarise the main trends: it says only that the districts and population are described. Some key comparisons are also confused. Manhattan rose from 60,515 in 1800 to 1,850,093 in 1900, then fell to 1,538,096 in 2000; the other districts grew throughout, reaching 6,471,089. Your figures such as “18 to 60,515” and “15 to 18,50,093” do not accurately represent the table, and the percentages are not clearly assigned. Select the major contrast—Manhattan’s declining share versus the other districts’ growing share—and report the figures accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs for the data, and time markers such as “In 1800,” “Secondly,” and “Finally” help signal sequence. However, the overview is not distinct in meaning, and the body does not progress clearly from the city-wide trend to the district comparison. Phrases such as “In this detail” and “it has no change according firstly” make the relationships between ideas difficult to follow. The final paragraph also combines population and percentage information without clear references to which group each figure describes. Use a clear overview, then group the district data by trend, and connect comparisons with precise references such as “Manhattan’s share” and “the other districts’ share.”

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

Your vocabulary is basic and often repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “value,” “population,” and “increase.” Some attempts to describe change, including “jump” and “rocket value,” show an effort to use more varied language, but these expressions are not appropriate or natural for an academic data summary. Several word choices and spellings also strain understanding, such as “province” for the city’s districts, “hightest,” “percantage,” and “manthan.” Use standard terms such as “district,” “population,” “proportion,” “rose,” “declined,” and “accounted for.” More precise vocabulary would help distinguish absolute population figures from percentages and make the comparisons easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The response relies mainly on short, simple statements, and frequent errors often make the intended meaning unclear. For example, “The first chart given illustrate changes” has subject–verb disagreement, while “In 1800 total population hight on the 79,216” does not form a clear grammatical sentence. Articles, sentence boundaries, and clause structure are also unreliable, as in “In the second paragraph, Manhattan and other district population and thetotal percantage of the year.” Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, and some sentences lack a clear subject or verb. Practise building accurate basic sentences first—for example, “The city’s population rose to 3,437,202 in 1900”—then add comparisons using controlled clauses such as “while” or “whereas.”

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