Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

the first two tables shows changes in the total population from 1800 to 2000 in new york city and Manhattan , finally the third table shows the same informations however the numbers was of the five districts of manhattan.

first of all and for most there is a hight increase of the newyork population rather then manhattan's , in 1800 there population was close to each other just newyork's has a little bit more humans

in 2000 newyork population had an unblivable increase of the humans number from 79216 to 8 million person , however in manhattan there is a devalopment in humans number but not like newyork , it raises from 60515 into million and a half close to be 25% of newyork increase

in the other districts it was a great rise in population from 18701 in 1800 into close to 6 million and a half in 2000

there is a deffrence between the percentage of total population in manhattan and other districts

in manhattan it raises and in the other it was the opposite not the same .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the broad population growth and the changing balance between Manhattan and the other districts, which are relevant features. However, the report only partially covers the tables: it omits the 1900 figures and does not clearly compare the overall population at all three dates. Some details are inaccurate or unclear. For example, Manhattan’s share did not rise; it fell from 76% to 54% and then 19%, while the other districts’ share rose. The claim that Manhattan’s 2000 population was “close to be 25%” of New York’s increase is also imprecise and does not express the table’s percentage comparison. A clearer overview and accurate comparisons across all three years would make the key features more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some organisation: the response moves from an introduction to overall growth, then Manhattan and the other districts. Linking expressions such as “however” and “in 2000” help signal contrast and time. Nevertheless, progression is difficult to follow because the opening misidentifies the tables, and several ideas are placed in separate, loosely connected lines rather than developed in clear paragraphs. The final statement about percentages is especially confusing, since it says Manhattan’s share “raises” before suggesting the opposite. Use a concise overview paragraph followed by grouped comparisons, and make each reference explicit—for example, state which district’s percentage increased or decreased.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “population,” “increase,” “percentage,” and “districts,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or informal, which sometimes makes the meaning unclear. Phrases such as “more humans,” “development in humans number,” and “great rise” are not natural ways to describe population data; “population growth” and “a substantial increase” would be more suitable. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “unblivable,” “devalopment,” and “deffrence.” Aim for precise, neutral reporting language and check spelling, especially in key terms used repeatedly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentences using contrast, as in “in 2000 … however in manhattan…,” but control is inconsistent and the range of sentence structures remains limited. Errors occur frequently in agreement, tense, articles, and sentence construction: “the first two tables shows,” “the numbers was,” and “it raises from … into” are examples. Several sentences also run together without clear punctuation, making relationships between ideas harder to understand. Practise accurate simple comparison structures first, such as “Manhattan’s population rose from X to Y, while its share fell,” then combine them with clauses using “whereas” or “although.”

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