Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

the table chart illustrates information mation about new york city population changes between 1800 to 2000 . in five different district of ity (manhattan, brooklyn, bonx, queens, staten island,)over the all years.

To ommane with , in these districs major ose in pepoles in 2000 then in 1900 with a difference of [redacted phone] lakh individuals whenever, in 1800 at 79,316 .

futhermore, in one city manhattan average popuation of city fall down in all peiod at 22 and 35resectively,whereasw in other four districs population took a modest grive up in 1800 at 24 % then in other time take a figure of 46% and 81% of indivuduals .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the broad subject and make a relevant comparison between Manhattan and the other districts, noting that Manhattan’s share falls while the other districts’ share rises. However, the response reports very few accurate details: the city’s 1800 population is given as 79,316 rather than 79,216, and the claim that Manhattan’s population fell “in all period” is inaccurate because it rose substantially from 1800 to 1900 before declining by 2000. The figures “22 and 35” are unclear and do not match the table’s percentages. The overview is therefore only minimally supported. The response is also below the required 150 words. To improve, give a clear overview and accurately select key figures for all three years.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening sentence introduces the tables, followed by phrases such as “To commence with” and “furthermore.” The comparison between Manhattan and the other districts also gives the reader a general direction. However, the ideas are not arranged into clear, complete units, and the progression is difficult to follow. For example, “in these districs major ose in pepoles in 2000 then in 1900” does not clearly state what increased or how the years compare. The second sentence also combines several unclear points without a logical sequence. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and key comparisons, and connect each point explicitly to its year and population share.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a few task-related terms, including “population,” “district,” “percentage,” and “individuals,” so the topic is recognisable. However, vocabulary is basic and often inaccurate or misspelled, which strains understanding. Examples include “bonx,” “districs,” “peoples,” “popuation,” and “grive up.” Some expressions are also unsuitable or unclear for describing data, such as “major ose” and “modest grive up.” Aim for accurate, standard terms such as “increased,” “declined,” “accounted for,” and “population share.” Check spelling carefully and avoid phrases whose meaning is uncertain; precise vocabulary is especially important when comparing figures and trends.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to form longer sentences and use contrast with “whereas,” but grammatical control is very limited, and errors frequently make the relationships between ideas unclear. For instance, “between 1800 to 2000” uses an incorrect preposition pattern, while “in five different district” has a number-agreement error. The sentence beginning “To commence with” lacks a clear grammatical structure, and “in one city manhattan average popuation of city fall down” does not form a complete, accurate clause. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, including the lowercase opening and missing spaces around punctuation. Practise writing short, complete sentences first, with a clear subject and verb, then add comparisons using accurate forms such as “rose from … to …” and “fell to …”.

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