Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

the new york history had faced a lot of population challanges due to the new births and migrations.so in the era that was might start of new york indepandance was the time when it population was less than 80 thousand but as the time hit the 20th century it this city become more populatry and crowdy. there are so many reasons of that much increase in population some of them are as fallows

The birth rate

The migrancy rate

The travelers rate

moreever in the 18th century the population of that city was round about 79 thousandss approximately 80, so when the time hit the 19th one the population inreases towards 34 lac and 37 thousand approximately although in the era of 20th century population hit the big change rate like round about 80 lac persons.

Actually according to studies their are some cities that contributes in population rate more than others so its necessary to put them down as well .

Fisrtly ,we will talk about Manhattan its popullations change gradually with the time so in 18th it was like 76% of total popullation that is approximately 60.5 thousand and in 19th it was 18 lc 50 thousand 54% of total popullaton as well as in 20th it was 15 lac 38 thousand round aboutly .

But when we talk about other states of districts it tells us more and mre about it .so in 18th century the popullation of that four districts Brooklyn,Bronx,Queens,Staten island was 18 thousand ,in 19th of century it was like 15 lac 87 thousand as

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the broad rise in New York’s population and include relevant figures for Manhattan and the other districts. The comparison that Manhattan’s share fell from 76% to 54% is useful, and you correctly report its 2000 population as about 1.54 million. However, the response only partially summarises the tables: it does not clearly state the overall pattern that the city grew from 79,216 to 8,009,185, while the other districts’ share rose to 81% by 2000. The final comparison is unfinished, and the opening introduces causes such as births, migration and travel that the tables do not provide. Focus on the main trends, include a concise overview, and avoid unsupported explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some organisation: the response moves from the city’s total population to Manhattan and then to the other districts, and phrases such as “Firstly” signal a shift. However, progression is weakened by an opening list of possible causes that is not connected to the table data, and the paragraph about the other districts ends abruptly after “as”. Several links are mechanical or unclear, including “Actually according to studies” and “But when we talk about”. Paragraphing does not consistently separate the overview from the detailed comparisons. A clearer structure—overview first, followed by one paragraph comparing Manhattan and another covering the other districts—would make the information easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt a range of vocabulary related to population and change, including “population”, “increase”, “contributes” and “gradually”. However, frequent spelling errors and inaccurate or unnatural word choices make parts difficult to understand: “challanges”, “indepandance”, “populatry”, “migrancy” and “round aboutly”. Some expressions are also unsuitable for a formal data summary, such as “hit the big change rate” and “put them down”. Use precise, conventional language for describing figures and trends, and check spelling carefully. For example, “the population rose” or “accounted for” would communicate the data more clearly than the less natural phrases used here.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt longer sentences and some subordinate clauses, but these are often difficult to follow because of frequent errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement and punctuation. For example, “as the time hit the 20th century it this city become” has an unclear clause structure and incorrect verb form, while “its population was less than 80 thousand but as the time…” needs clearer sentence boundaries. Articles and plural forms are also inconsistent, as in “in 18th” and “that four districts”. Capitalisation and spacing around punctuation are frequently uncontrolled. Build accurate simple sentences first, then add comparisons using structures such as “By 1900, the population had risen to…” and “whereas the other districts accounted for…”.

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