Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

These tables demonstrate the total and individual population of New York city and its all five districts, including Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, and Staten Island between 1800 and 2000.

Overall, tables show that population of New York city and its all five districts has significantly increased from 1800 to 2000. While total population of Manhattan has increased largely, but as % of total population it decreased considerably from 76% to 19% during the given period. On contrary, the other district's population has increasingly contributed to % of total population.

In 1800, population of New York was 79216, which increased to [redacted phone] in 1900 before ending up to [redacted phone] in 2000. This data demonstrates the almost 100 times increase in New York population over the specified time. Similarly, the population of other districts such as Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, and Staten Island has increased considerably both in term of total and % of total New York population from 1800 to 2000. This % of total population has increased from 24% to 81% between 1800 and 2000. However, the population of Manhattan has decreased as % of total population from 76% in 1800 to 54% in 1900 and finally 19% in 2000. Despite this fact, the total population of Manhattan has increased from 60515 to [redacted phone] in 2000.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You identify the main overall changes and support them with relevant figures: New York’s population rose from 79,216 to 8,009,185, while the other districts’ share grew from 24% to 81%. You also correctly note Manhattan’s declining share. However, the overview says Manhattan’s total population “has increased largely,” which is misleading: it rose between 1800 and 1900, then fell to 1,538,096 by 2000. The later comparison also gives only its 1800 and 2000 totals, so the important peak and subsequent decline are not fully reported. Your description of the other districts is accurate in broad terms, but could be more precise by distinguishing their combined population from the individual districts, for which no separate figures are provided.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear four-part structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs. The progression from the citywide figures to the district comparison is easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “Similarly,” “However,” and “Despite this fact” help connect points. This gives the report a coherent overall arrangement. Some connections are less effective or repetitive, though: the overview repeats the idea of population growth, and “Despite this fact” does not clearly express the contrast between Manhattan’s falling share and its changing total population. The reference to “This data” is also somewhat vague. To make the progression more flexible and precise, group related comparisons together and use clearer references to the figures or populations being discussed.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased,” “decreased,” “contributed,” and “considerably,” and the meaning is generally clear. There are attempts at more formal reporting language, such as “specified time” and “demonstrates.” However, some word choices and collocations are awkward or imprecise: “increased largely” is not natural here, “increasingly contributed to %” is unclear, and “almost 100 times increase” is an inaccurate-sounding formulation for the comparison. Repetition of “population” and “total population” also limits flexibility. Aim for more precise trend language and natural collocations, while avoiding claims that could imply a different pattern from the data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including a contrast with “While” and a time sequence using “before.” Most of the information remains understandable, and the figures are presented in readable sentences. Some grammatical errors persist, however. The overview contains the faulty construction “While …, but …”; use either “While” or “but,” not both. In “tables show that population,” articles are missing, and “the other district’s population” uses a singular possessive where a plural form is needed. There are also issues with number and phrasing in “in term of total and %,” and the final sentence’s “in 2000” does not clearly attach to the full comparison. Review articles, plurals, and sentence patterns when combining contrasts.

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