Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The first table illustrates the changes in the total population of New York city from 1800 to 2000. However second and third table show changes in the population of the five districts of the city names Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and staten island over the same period.

In the first, Changing was occur in New York from 1800 to 2000, where the Population was 79,216 in 1800 and grownup in 1900 where the number increased to 3,437,202, further in 2000 it was surged again and goes to 8,009,185.

Seconldy, Manhattan Population was 60,515 in 1800, which was 76% of total population, and it was increased in 1900 where the population was 1,850,093 which was 54% of total population, However in 2000 the population of Manhattan decreased and it was 1,538,096 which was only 19% of total population.

On the other hand, districts including Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten island had a population of 18,701 in 1800, which was 24% of total population, but in 1900 it surged and goes to 1,587,109 which was 46% of total population, and rapidly goesup to 6,471,089 in 2000 which was 81% of total population.

To Conclude this, New York population was increased by the time, where Manhattan population face a fluctuation, However other districts population increased by the time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover the main data sets and report the key overall changes: New York’s total population rose from 79,216 to 8,009,185, while Manhattan’s share fell from 76% to 19% and the other districts’ share increased to 81%. The figures you include are accurate, and the final comparison captures the broad contrast. However, the overview is placed mainly in the conclusion rather than clearly stated near the beginning, and “Manhattan population face a fluctuation” is imprecise: its population rose to a peak in 1900 and then declined by 2000. The response addresses the task, but some comparisons and the overview are less fully developed than they could be. State the main trends explicitly and distinguish population totals from percentage shares.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response follows a generally sensible order: total city population, Manhattan, then the other districts, with a concluding comparison. This makes the information reasonably easy to locate. However, progression is weakened by mechanical sequencing words such as “In the first,” “Seconldy,” and “On the other hand,” and some links do not express the relationship precisely. The opening sentence repeats the task rather than introducing an overview, while the conclusion repeats earlier information without adding a clear synthesis. Paragraphing is limited, and long sentences joined by “and” or “however” make some comparisons harder to follow. Use a distinct overview paragraph and group related figures into shorter, clearly connected sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for describing data, including “population,” “total population,” “increased,” “decreased,” and “surged,” so the main meaning is usually clear. However, the range is limited and several choices or forms are unnatural for formal data reporting. For example, “grownup” does not fit the intended meaning, “was occur” is not an appropriate expression, and “goesup” is both incorrectly formed and informal. “Fluctuation” is also not precise for Manhattan’s pattern, which is a rise followed by a fall. Spelling and capitalisation errors, including “Seconldy” and inconsistent “staten island,” further reduce control. Build a small set of accurate trend verbs and use them consistently.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including clauses with “which” and contrasts introduced by “however” and “but.” This allows you to report several figures and comparisons. However, control is uneven, and errors in verb forms and sentence construction recur: “Changing was occur,” “the number increased,” and “it was surged again and goes to” do not form accurate grammatical patterns. There are also problems with articles and sentence boundaries, as in “However second and third table,” and punctuation around “However” is often incorrect. These errors sometimes make the reader work to understand the intended relationship. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and divide long, joined clauses into complete sentences.

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