Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

I refers to the table of population of new york city for the changes years 1800,1900,2000 to comparison for the five districts Manhattan,Broklyn,Bronx, Queens and Staten Island .In the years 1800 the new york population is79,216 and the other five districts population for Manhattan is 60,515 and other four districts population is 18,701.In the year of 1900 the new york population is 34,37,202 and the Manhattan district population is 18,50,093 and the other four districts population is15,87,102.In the year of 2000 new York population is the80,09,185 and the Manhattan district population is 15,38,098 and the other four districts population is64,71,089.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You report several relevant figures for all three years, and the broad pattern of a much larger city population by 2000 is present. However, the response mainly lists numbers rather than summarising the key features: it does not identify that the total population rose sharply throughout, or that Manhattan’s share fell from 76% to 19% while the other districts’ share increased. Some figures are also inaccurate: the 1900 total is written as “34,37,202” instead of 3,437,202, and the 2000 Manhattan figure is given as 1,538,098 rather than 1,538,096. The response is 100 words, below the required 150. Add a clear overview and comparisons, then support them with accurate data.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The information is presented in chronological order, which gives the reader a basic route through the data, and the repeated year-by-year pattern makes the figures relatively easy to locate. However, the response is one continuous paragraph and has no clear overview separating the main trends from supporting details. The repeated openings, such as “In the years 1800,” “In the year of 1900,” and “In the year of 2000,” make the progression mechanical. Some punctuation is missing around the introductory sentence and between district names, which further weakens the flow. Organise the response into an introduction, an overview, and a paragraph comparing the figures, using linking phrases to show the contrast between Manhattan and the other districts.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “population,” “districts,” and “comparison,” and the district names show awareness of the subject matter. However, the range is limited and several phrases are awkward or repetitive, such as “for the changes years” and “the other four districts population.” The response relies heavily on repeating “population” and “district,” rather than using precise language to describe change and proportion. There are also spelling and formatting problems, including “Broklyn” and inconsistent capitalisation of “new york.” Use a wider set of accurate terms for trends and shares, such as “increased,” “declined,” “accounted for,” and “the remaining districts,” while checking proper nouns and number formatting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response communicates the figures through a series of simple sentences, but it shows limited control of sentence structure and contains recurring grammatical errors. For example, “I refers to the table” has an incorrect subject–verb form, while “In the years 1800 the new york population is” uses an unsuitable tense and lacks punctuation after the introductory phrase. The opening sentence is also difficult to follow because several ideas are joined without clear grammatical links. Most sentences follow the same basic pattern, so there is little variety. Practise accurate past-tense reporting, articles, and sentence boundaries; for example, write “In 1800, New York City had a population of…” and use a separate sentence to compare the districts.

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