Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The first table illustrate changes in the total people of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the individuals of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Looking first at new york city individuals of 1800 was compared with the population of manhattan was highest grown. Further, the individuals of 2000 new York population is highest then manhattan population in this year.

Turning to the population of other districts of brooklyn,bronx,queens,staten island was highest in 2000 and the lowest in 1800 and 2nd 1900 is 2nd half population compared with 2000.The population was rising in half 46 to 81 percent.

Overall the highest figures grown in other district and lowest in other district like new york and manhatta.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the broad subject and mention the main periods, and you notice that the other districts’ share rises from 46% in 1900 to 81% in 2000. However, the response reports the data only minimally: it gives no accurate figures for the city’s total population and does not clearly explain that Manhattan grew to 1,850,093 by 1900 before falling to 1,538,096, while the other districts continued to grow. The overview is also unclear and includes the contradictory claim that the “highest figures” are in the other districts and “lowest” there. The response is 101 words, below the required 150, which limits the detail and comparisons you can provide. Select key figures and describe the overall shift in population distribution accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, body paragraphs and an overall statement, and phrases such as “Looking first” and “Turning to” signal a change of focus. However, the progression is difficult to follow because several sentences combine unclear or conflicting ideas. For example, “the individuals of 2000 new York population is highest then manhattan population” does not make the comparison clear, and the final sentence repeats the idea of highest and lowest figures without resolving it. Linking is also limited, while “Further” does not establish a clear relationship between the points. Group the information by trend—Manhattan versus the other districts—and use clear comparisons and references to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “population,” “districts,” “highest,” and “percent,” so the subject is recognisable. However, the range is basic and several word choices or collocations make the meaning difficult to understand. “Total people” and “individuals” are not suitable substitutes for population in this context, while “highest grown” and “2nd half population” do not express the intended trends clearly. There are also inconsistent capital letters in place names, such as “new york” and “manhatta.” Use precise terms for changes and proportions, such as “increased,” “declined,” “accounted for,” and “share,” and check the spelling and capitalisation of all district names.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts several sentence forms, including comparisons and a concluding statement, but control of sentence structure and verb forms is inconsistent. For example, “The first table illustrate” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “individuals of 1800 was compared with the population” has an unclear construction and incorrect agreement. In “the population of other districts … was highest,” the plural subject also does not match the verb. Missing or incorrect articles and punctuation further interrupt the reading. Most sentences rely on simple patterns, and the attempted longer sentences are often difficult to interpret. Practise writing short, accurate comparisons first, then combine them using clear clauses such as “Manhattan’s population rose…, whereas the other districts’ population…”.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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