Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Overall, the population of all the categories increased over the period. although, the manhattan district's percentage of total population declined over the period.

looking at the numbers, the population of an new york city moved from 79,216 to 8009,185 by 2000. other district,s poulation also increased from 18,701 to 6,471,089 over the period. corrospondence to its percentage it also increased over the peiod and realised 81% by 2000.

Throught the period, Manhattam population increased and stated at 1,538,096 but its perc

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify two relevant overall patterns: New York City's population grew, while Manhattan's share fell and the other districts' share rose. You also include several accurate figures, such as the city's 79,216 in 1800 and the other districts' 6,471,089 in 2000. However, the response reports only a small part of the tables and ends mid-sentence at “but its perc…”, leaving Manhattan's percentage trend incomplete and the 1900 figures largely unaddressed. The statement that Manhattan's population “increased” is also misleading: it rose to 1,850,093 in 1900, then fell to 1,538,096 by 2000. The response is 81 words, below the required 150, so it cannot adequately summarise the main features. Include the three time points and complete the comparison of population shares and totals.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening overview is followed by details about the city and other districts, then a sentence about Manhattan. This gives the reader a general sense of the intended comparisons. However, the progression is interrupted because the final sentence stops at “but its perc…”, and the short response does not develop a complete account of the tables. The linking word “although” is awkwardly separated from the preceding sentence, while “looking at the numbers” and “correspondence to its percentage” do not clearly guide the reader through the data. Use complete paragraphs, group the figures by time period or by Manhattan versus the other districts, and connect each comparison explicitly. This would make the organisation more coherent and reduce the impression of disconnected statements.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “population,” “percentage,” “declined,” and “increased,” and these terms help communicate the broad trends. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts difficult to read, including “poulation,” “corrospondence,” “peiod,” and “Manhattam.” Phrases such as “the population of an new york city moved from” and “realised 81%” are not natural ways to describe table data. Choose precise reporting language and check spelling carefully. For example, describe a population as “rose from … to …” and a share as “accounted for 81% of the total.” More varied verbs such as “climbed,” “fell,” and “represented” would also help you report the comparisons accurately without repeating the same basic terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple statements and a longer sentence beginning “although,” but grammatical control is inconsistent and the range remains limited. Errors include the article and noun phrase in “an new york city,” the sentence fragment created by starting “although” after a full stop, and the unclear construction “correspondence to its percentage it also increased.” The final sentence is incomplete, so its intended grammatical relationship cannot be understood. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in the lower-case sentence openings and the comma after “Overall.” Aim first for complete, accurate sentences with a clear subject and verb, such as “Manhattan’s population rose to … in 1900, before falling to … in 2000.” Then use linking clauses only when their grammatical connection is clear.

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