Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This table shows the population of New York from 1800 to 2000. The most important in past 1800 in this year the population of New York was very low because the people production and the birth rate is a very low otherwise in the middle year 1900 on this time the population of New York was grow but it was not on this time on at this time New York 2000 is a very high the comparison between 1800 to 2000 between is a very low and very high shows a slide difference otherwise Manhattan population was not high in present as compared to past in past .The other district population is become around 24% but nowadays it become a total percent of 81% overall according to mind. The population of New York is very high Naidu nowadays and other district at the middle number like Brooklyn bronex Queen state Island but at the list number is Manhattan

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the broad pattern that New York’s population rose substantially and that Manhattan’s share fell while the other districts’ share increased. The figures of 24% and 81% are consistent with the tables, and you note that Manhattan was smaller by 2000. However, the response gives little accurate detail about the three dates: it does not report the city’s totals or explain that Manhattan’s population rose to 1.85 million in 1900 before declining to 1.54 million. The claim that the comparison shows a “slide difference” is unclear, and explanations about birth rates and “people production” are not supported by the data. A clearer overview and a few precise comparisons would make the summary more complete and relevant.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic attempt to move from the overall population to Manhattan and then the other districts, and phrases such as “otherwise” and “overall” show an effort to connect ideas. However, the response is presented as one long, loosely connected sequence, with no clear paragraphing or distinct overview. Several transitions are confusing or repetitive, including “in past 1800,” “in the middle year 1900,” and “otherwise in the middle year.” The final comparison of the districts is also difficult to follow. Organise the response into a short overview and a detail paragraph, and use clear time markers such as “In 1800,” “By 1900,” and “By 2000” to guide the reader through the data.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “population,” “district,” “comparison,” and “percent,” so the subject is recognisable. However, the range is basic and several word choices or combinations make the meaning difficult to understand. For example, “people production,” “a slide difference,” and “at the list number” do not express the intended statistical ideas clearly; “grow” and “become” are also repeated where more precise trend language is needed. Some district names are misspelled or unclear, including “bronex” and “Queen.” Build a small set of accurate terms for describing data, such as “increased,” “declined,” “accounted for,” and “share,” and check the spelling of proper names.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to compare different years and use longer sentences, but sentence structures are often incomplete or difficult to interpret. For instance, “the most important in past 1800 in this year the population…” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “the population of New York was grow” uses an incorrect verb form. There are also problems with articles, agreement, and tense, as in “the birth rate is a very low” and “the other district population is become.” Punctuation is limited, so several separate ideas run together. Practise writing short, complete sentences first, then combine them with accurate clauses—for example, “The city’s population increased between 1800 and 1900, then continued to rise by 2000.”

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