Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York city from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city ( Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Overall, The New York city population is more then the other, city districts. Moreover in second table shows the Manhattan population that's more then the other remining districts.

NEW YORK CITY POPULATION:-

In year 1800, population is around about 79,216 moreover, in 1900 its upto 3,437,202, but after some years in 2000 is incresed to 8,009,185.

MANHATTAN:-

In year 1800, the population of Manhattan is around about 60,515 as percentage of total population is 76%. furthermore in 1900, population is up to 1,850,093. After some year in 2000, it's 1,538,096 as percentage 19%

OTHER DISTRICTS:-

In year 1800 other all districts population is 18,701 as percentage its 24% moreover, in 1900 population rate is high its 1,587,109, percentage is 46%. In 2000 population of other districts is 6,471,089 as percentage its 81%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You report the main figures for the city, Manhattan and the other districts, and the data you give matches the tables. However, the overview is unclear: “the New York city population is more then the other, city districts” does not explain the key change in distribution. A stronger overview would state that the city’s total population rose greatly, while Manhattan’s share fell and the other districts’ share grew to become dominant. You also say Manhattan had more people than the remaining districts without limiting this comparison to 1800 and 1900; by 2000, the other districts had far more. The response is 132 words, below the 150-word minimum; 45 copied words from the prompt were not counted. Develop the comparisons and overview rather than repeating the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic structure: an opening, an overview, and separate sections for the city, Manhattan and the other districts. This makes the subject of each paragraph easy to identify. However, progression within the overview is weak, and the repeated pattern “In year… moreover… in 1900… after some year…” makes the report read like a list rather than a connected comparison. Some linking words are used inaccurately or mechanically, such as “but” before the city’s continued increase and “furthermore” between data points. Group the figures to highlight the contrast between Manhattan and the other districts, and use clear references such as “its share” or “by 2000” to connect the comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use relevant basic terms such as “population,” “percentage” and “total,” so the reader can identify the subject and most figures. However, vocabulary is limited and repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “population,” “moreover” and “up to.” Several word choices or forms are inaccurate, including “more then,” “remining districts,” “population rate is high” and “as percentage its.” These reduce precision and sometimes make the intended comparison difficult to follow. Use a wider set of accurate reporting expressions, such as “rose to,” “accounted for,” “share” and “declined,” and check spelling and collocations. This would help you describe the changing proportions without relying on repeated, awkward phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to report changes across three time points, but most sentences follow a simple, repetitive pattern and several are incomplete or inaccurately formed. For example, “Moreover in second table shows…” lacks a clear grammatical subject, while “as percentage 19%” is not a complete clause. Tense and verb forms are also inconsistent: “population is” and “its upto” are used for historical data, and “is incresed” does not form the past-tense verb correctly. Capitalisation after full stops is inconsistent, as in “Overall, The…”. Practise complete past-tense sentences and clauses that compare figures, for example, “Manhattan’s population rose to…, before falling to…”. Greater control of these basic patterns is needed for clearer reporting.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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