Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The first table illusturates, changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of five district of the city ( Manhattan , Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Station Island) over the same period.

Overall, the total population of New York city has been increased during time in 1800 it was about 79,216 however, in 2000 it was about 8,009,185 and it is the highest number of population.

Moreover, the highest changes of proportion of total population of Manhattan district in 1800 was about 76% while, the smallest changes of percentage of population in Manhattan district in 2000 was about 19%. In addition, the change in share of population in other four districts in 1800 was about 24% but it's reached the maximum number of population in 2000 was about 81%.

In conclusion, this report defines that the number of population of Manhattan district decreased during time however, the amount of population of other four districts increased during time. Furthermore, the overall population of New York City was grow up with time and reached maximum the number of population in 2000

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad trends: New York City’s population rose substantially, Manhattan’s share fell, and the other districts’ share increased. The figures you give for the 1800 and 2000 shares are accurate, and the response includes an overview. However, the account is only partly developed: it omits the important 1900 figures, when the city had 3,437,202 residents and Manhattan still accounted for 54%, and it does not report Manhattan’s population falling from 1,850,093 in 1900 to 1,538,096 in 2000. The claim that Manhattan’s population decreased “during time” is misleading because it first rose sharply. Focus on the main stages and distinguish population totals from percentage shares.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction to an overview and then to further comparisons. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Moreover,” and “In addition” help signal relationships between points. However, the progression is not consistently clear: the second paragraph combines the city’s total population with district shares, while the final paragraph repeats the same trends rather than adding a distinct summary. Some connections are also awkward, particularly “In conclusion” followed by another statement of the overview. Organise the body around the city total and then the district changes, and use references such as “this share” clearly so readers can follow which figures are being compared.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “total population,” “proportion,” “share,” and “decreased,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive. For example, “highest changes of proportion” and “smallest changes of percentage” do not naturally describe the largest and smallest shares, while “maximum number of population” is unclear. “Station Island” also misnames Staten Island, and “illusturates” is misspelled. Aim for precise terms such as “population share,” “accounted for,” and “rose to,” and check spelling and word forms before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including a contrast with “however,” and the reader can usually understand the intended trends. Nevertheless, errors are frequent, especially in verb forms, articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries. Examples include “has been increased,” “the amount of population … increased,” and “was grow up”; these should use forms such as “increased” or “grew.” The opening sentence also has an unnecessary comma after “illustrates,” and punctuation around “however” is often faulty. Some sentences join several ideas without clear grammatical control. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and build longer comparisons from correctly punctuated clauses.

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