Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

INTRODUCTION

the TABLE illustrates change in the total population of NEW YORK city from 1800 to 2000. the second table shown the population of the five districts ( Manhattan, BROOKLYN,BRONX, QUEENS, STATEN ISLAND) OVER THE SAME PERIOD.

OVERALL,

THE TOTAL POPULATION OF NEW YORK CITY IS INCREASE IN 1800 TO 2000. ALTHOUGH THE MANHATTAN IS the most popular district in 1800. but brooklyn is the most famous district in 2000

BODY PARAGRAPH ONE

in Manhattan. the population is round about 76% in 1800. this is very famous city at this time. but in 1900 the percentage of the population is decrease to 54% and in 2000 the percentage is at 19%. because people leave to other districts of new YORK, like (brooklyn, bronx, queens, staten island). so the Manhattan is not popular in 2000.

BODY PARAGRAPH 2

IN THE SECOND PARAGRAPH, the table shown, the percentage of population from 1800 to 2000. in the other districts of new York. the percentage is24% in the 1800.it is also increase in the 1900 and go to the 46% large amount of people come to this district. and in the 2000 the percentage is 81%. and it is very well percentage as compare to past years. and in 2000. the Brooklyn is became a famous district of new York.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad trends: New York City’s population grew, Manhattan’s share fell, and the other districts’ share rose. The figures you give for the district percentages match the tables. However, the overview is partly inaccurate: the data show that Manhattan had the largest population in 1900 as well as 1800, and the table does not establish that Brooklyn alone was the most populous district in 2000. You also omit the total population figures (79,216, 3,437,202 and 8,009,185) and do not report Manhattan’s actual population, which fell from 1,850,093 to 1,538,096 after 1900. The explanation that people left Manhattan is not shown by the data. Select and compare the main figures more precisely, and avoid unsupported claims.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has recognisable sections for an introduction, overview and two body paragraphs, and it generally moves from Manhattan to the other districts. This gives the reader a basic framework. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear, and linking words are repetitive or awkward. For example, the overview uses “Although” followed by “but,” while the second body paragraph repeats “and” to connect several separate points. The phrase “IN THE SECOND PARAGRAPH” refers to the essay rather than presenting the data, and the final sentence about Brooklyn does not follow clearly from figures for all four other districts combined. Use clear topic sentences, group comparisons by year or trend, and connect ideas with accurate, varied transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “population,” “percentage,” “district” and “increase,” so the topic is usually understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices are inaccurate or informal for describing statistical data. Calling Manhattan “very famous” or “not popular” confuses population size with reputation, and “very well percentage” does not express a clear comparison. “Round about” is also less suitable than a precise reporting phrase. Repeated use of “percentage” and “district” makes the account sound repetitive. Build a small set of accurate terms for trends and proportions, such as “accounted for,” “share,” “declined” and “rose,” and use them consistently. Check spelling and capitalisation of place names as well.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including a contrast with “Although” and an explanation beginning “because.” However, control is uneven, and errors in verb forms, sentence boundaries and clause construction are frequent enough to make some relationships difficult to follow. Examples include “the second table shown,” “the total population … is increase,” and “the Brooklyn is became.” The sentence “Although the Manhattan is the most popular district in 1800. but brooklyn…” is not correctly joined: use one contrast structure, such as “Although Manhattan had the largest population in 1800, its share later declined.” Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and complete, correctly joined sentences before adding more complex structures.

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