Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The table illustrates the overall changes in the population of New York city between the year 1800 to 2000. The rest of the two tables indicates the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same years.

overall, it can be seen that over the period of every centuries the population rose gradually. where other districts have seen a large number of poupulation over the period of time.

if we examine every district closely at first manhattan have seen a large number of population over more than 3 quaters in year 1800 while at the same year the other districts all togather have seen a less number of induvisuals approximatily slighty less than a quater. But in 19s the number for manhattan were 54% whereas for other districts it was 46% which was still a good change.

But in 20s the number game totally changed where manhattan had 19% and ot

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the broad comparison between Manhattan and the other four districts, and the figures you give for their shares in 1800 and 1900 are accurate. However, the response is incomplete and reports only part of the data: it gives no total-city population figures and ends before stating the 2000 comparison. The overview that the population “rose gradually” is also imprecise; the total rose sharply, while Manhattan’s population actually fell between 1900 and 2000 as the other districts grew. The response contains 141 words, below the required 150, and the unfinished final sentence further limits coverage. To improve, complete the 2000 comparison and summarise the main changes in both total population and district shares.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introduction is followed by an overview and then a closer comparison of the districts. The sequence from 1800 to 1900 and toward 2000 is potentially useful, and linking phrases such as “while” and “But” show an effort to connect ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the overview is vague, the comparison is compressed into one long paragraph, and the final sentence breaks off at “ot”. Some transitions, including “if we examine every district closely at first,” are awkward and do not clearly guide the reader. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and key comparisons, and finish each comparison with a complete statement.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “overall,” “population,” “districts,” and “percentage,” so the subject is generally recognisable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, with “number of population” repeated where more precise expressions would help. Several spelling errors—“poupulation,” “quaters,” “togather,” “induisuals,” and “approximatily”—make the writing less clear and reduce control. Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “a large number of population” and “the number game totally changed.” Aim for accurate collocations such as “population share,” “accounted for,” and “the pattern changed markedly,” and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish population totals from percentages.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentences, for example the comparison beginning “if we examine every district closely,” and uses basic linking structures such as “while” and “whereas.” However, grammatical control is inconsistent, and errors frequently affect clarity. Examples include “between the year 1800 to 2000” (the preposition pattern should be “between … and …”), “over the period of every centuries” (number agreement), and “manhattan have seen” (subject–verb agreement). Capitalisation and punctuation are also unreliable, including lowercase sentence openings and the unfinished final sentence. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then build comparisons with controlled clauses—for example, “Manhattan accounted for 76% in 1800, whereas the other districts made up 24%.”

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