Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The foremost diagram is responsible for illustrating the changes in the total population of new york city from the timeline of 1800 till 2000. Whereas the other two graphs consist the informations of the change in population of the five districts. They are Manhattan,Brooklyn,Bronx,Queens,Staten island.

Overall, the first graph contains the information of the population of Newyork city. During the year 1800 the population in new york was around 79216 whereas the population had significantly increased during the time line of 1900 to 2000. The population count was around [redacted phone] during the year 1900 and it was slightly above 8 million during the year 2000

The foremost diagram represents the overall populations in New york throughout the certain timeline.Now if we compare the population of New york to Manhattan it can be seen that the amount to civilians living on Manhattan was significantly lower compared to New york. The population count was around 60515 in the year 1800. the population count was slightly lower than the newyork one . which was around 79216.

Now if we compare all the other states such as Brooklyn, Bronx , Queens , Staten island we can see the population was really less compared to the other two states . the population was around 18701 durinb the year of 1800. which rose enormously during the year 1900 it reached around [redacted phone]. which was really high. the population count was almost the same as Manhattan. Moreover the percentage enhanced again during the 2000. it rounded up to [redacted phone] and it crossed the population of Manhattan.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad rise in New York City’s population and make relevant comparisons between Manhattan and the other districts. The figures you give for 1800 and 1900 are broadly accurate, and you note that the combined population of the other districts exceeded Manhattan’s by 2000. However, the overview is not sufficiently clear or complete: it should highlight that the city’s total population rose throughout the period, while Manhattan’s population peaked in 1900 and then declined, and the other districts’ share grew substantially. Some comparisons are also unclear or inaccurate: saying the other districts were “really less compared to the other two states” does not match the data, and the 1900 figure is described as “almost the same as Manhattan” without clarifying that it is the combined total for four districts. Focus on the main trends and report them precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has paragraphs and attempts to organise information by the total population, Manhattan, and the other districts. This gives it some structure, and phrases such as “Overall” and “Now if we compare” signal a shift in focus. However, progression is repetitive rather than consistently logical: the total population is introduced again in the third paragraph, while comparisons are sometimes difficult to follow. For example, “the amount to civilians living on Manhattan was significantly lower compared to New York” compares a district with the whole city, and “the other two states” has no clear reference. Linking words such as “Moreover” do not always clarify the relationship between ideas. Group the overview first, then compare Manhattan’s trend with the combined trend for the other districts, using clear references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing data, including “population,” “increased,” “rose,” “percentage,” and “compared.” There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “significantly” and “enormously.” However, several choices are unnatural or imprecise for an academic report: “foremost diagram,” “graphs consist the informations,” and “amount to civilians” make the meaning less clear. “States” is also inaccurate for the city’s districts, and “percentage enhanced” does not naturally describe a changing share. Spelling and word formation are inconsistent, including “Newyork,” “durinb,” and “informations.” Use standard terms such as “table,” “district,” “population,” and “accounted for,” and choose verbs that precisely describe increases, declines, and proportions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a contrast introduced by “Whereas” and conditional phrasing such as “if we compare.” However, control is uneven, and errors in sentence formation and punctuation sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. The opening “Whereas the other two graphs consist…” is a dependent clause presented as a sentence, while “the population count was around 60515 in the year 1800. the population count…” has faulty sentence punctuation and an incorrectly capitalised sentence start. Other examples include “the population was really less compared to the other two states” and the fragment beginning “which rose enormously.” Use complete sentences, check subject–verb patterns and articles, and combine related comparisons without creating fragments. More accurate control of these structures would make the report easier to read.

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