Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

intro

the tables given below demonstaretes in the variation of population in the peroid of 30 decades.

overview

An increase occur in the number of population in New York in 30 decades. in case of Mahattan percentage of total poulation declines from 74 to 19 percent. comparing with other districts, the ratio increases from 24% to 81% from [redacted phone].

bp

in the year 1800, Mnahattan has relatively more popuation as compared to the other districts mentioned in the report. Manhattan got 76% population while brooklyn, bronx, queens, staten Island had 24 %. the ratio increases for other districts and reduces for Manhattan.

bp

from [redacted phone], the decline occured in M anhattan

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the broad trends: New York’s population increased, Manhattan’s share fell, and the other districts’ share rose. However, the overview gives Manhattan’s 1800 share as 74%, whereas the table shows 76%, and the response omits the city’s actual population figures and the important change in Manhattan’s population: it rose to 1,850,093 in 1900 before falling to 1,538,096 in 2000. The final paragraph is unfinished and does not report the 2000 figures or explain the scale of the changes. The response is also 39 words below the required minimum, leaving the task only minimally covered. Include a complete overview and select key figures to support each main trend.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The use of an introduction, overview and two body sections shows an attempt to organise the report, and the comparison between Manhattan and the other districts is relevant. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the body paragraphs repeat the percentage trend without developing it, and the final sentence, “from 1900-2000, the decline occured in M anhattan,” is incomplete. The labels “intro,” “overview” and “bp” are not appropriate parts of a finished report. Some linking, such as “comparing with other districts,” is attempted, but relationships between the figures and time periods remain unclear. Use complete paragraphs, group information by time period or trend, and connect comparisons explicitly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant task vocabulary, including “population,” “percentage,” “declines,” and “districts,” so the main subject is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make the writing less clear, such as “demonstaretes,” “variation,” “pero id,” “Mnahattan,” and “poulation.” Phrases such as “number of population” and “the ratio increases” are not natural or precise in this context; use “population increased” and “the proportion/share rose.” The repeated use of “decline” also obscures the distinction between Manhattan’s falling share and its population, which first increased and then decreased. Check spelling and choose terms that accurately describe the data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There are attempts to form comparisons and use time references, for example, “while Brooklyn… had 24%” and “from 1900-2000,” but sentence structures are mostly simple and control is inconsistent. Errors include “An increase occur,” which needs a past-tense verb, and “Manhattan has relatively more population,” where the tense and comparative construction are faulty. The overview also contains sentence fragments or poorly joined clauses, including “in case of Manhattan percentage of total population declines from 74 to 19 percent.” Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, and the final sentence is not complete. Practise writing full sentences with accurate past-tense verbs and clear subject–verb relationships, then proofread punctuation and sentence boundaries.

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