Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The provided first table illustrates the whole residents of New York City between 1800 and 2000. The second and third tabls provide information about changes in citizens of the five regions throughout samr time period.

Overall, the total population of all fives districts had increased significantly over the given time period. The proportion of Manhattan population had decreased drastically whereas other districts had soar up.

The number of total residents had grown up drastically which was 79,216 in 1800 reached peak at 8,009,185 in 2000.The share of people composed by Manhattan residents decreased from 76% in 1800 to 19% in 2000 whereas the percentage was 54 in 1900.

On the other hand, only 24% of total population accounted by other four districts-Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and State Island- in 1800 which reached 46% in 1900 and finally reached peak at 81% in 2000.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main overall changes: New York’s population rose substantially, while Manhattan’s share fell and the other districts’ share increased. The figures you include—79,216 and 8,009,185 for the city, and the percentage changes for both groups—match the tables. However, the account is incomplete: it omits the city’s 1900 population and does not report the important contrast that Manhattan’s population itself fell between 1900 and 2000, while the other districts grew sharply. The overview’s “other districts had soar up” is also vague about whether this refers to population or share. The response is 142 words, below the required 150, and the limited development leaves some key features under-reported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs presenting figures. The contrast marker “On the other hand” helps signal the shift from Manhattan to the other districts, and the information generally follows a sensible time sequence. However, the progression is not fully smooth: the city’s total population and Manhattan’s percentages are combined in one paragraph, while the other-district figures are separated without a clear comparison of population counts. Some linking is mechanical, particularly the repeated “whereas” and “which” constructions. Clearer grouping—first summarising the city total, then comparing the two district groups across all three years—would make relationships easier to follow. Check that each reference, such as “which,” clearly points to the intended figure or trend.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing data, including “proportion,” “percentage,” “decreased,” and “accounted for,” so the topic is clear. However, several inaccurate or awkward choices reduce precision: “whole residents” and “citizens” are not natural ways to describe population figures, while “had soar up” and “grown up drastically” are unsuitable collocations. There are also spelling errors in “tabls,” “samr,” and “State Island” (the district is Staten Island). “Reached peak” is imprecise for a value that simply rose to its highest point in the period. Aim for accurate, conventional chart language such as “population,” “increased,” “declined,” and “accounted for,” and proofread spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of sentence forms, including a general overview and comparisons using “whereas” and “On the other hand.” The main trends remain understandable, but some sentence structures are incomplete or awkward. For example, “which was 79,216 in 1800 reached peak at 8,009,185 in 2000” lacks a clear grammatical connection between the starting and ending figures; write, for instance, “It rose from 79,216 in 1800 to 8,009,185 in 2000.” In “only 24% of total population accounted by other four districts,” the passive construction needs “was accounted for by,” or you could say “the other districts accounted for 24%.” Add articles where needed, and use consistent punctuation, including a space after the full stop before “The share.”

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