Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The first table illustrates the New York city staggering increase in population from 1800 to 2000.From [redacted phone] the population saw a monumental increase by almost 4,200%.whereas,from [redacted phone] the population saw a sharp growth of about 133% but not as significant as the one before.This illsutrates a slight change in population demograph of new york from sharp rise to slowly stumbling downward.The second chart shows the population growth of only manhattan whereas, the third shows the growth and percentage of population of other districts of new york city.In 1800 manhattan had the large share by population in the city which slowly drifted downward from 76% to 54% in 1900 to only 19% by 2000.on the otherhand the population share of other districts saw a dramatic increase from 24% to 46% then to 81% by 2000's.This shows the dominancy that manhattan had in population in the past being swallowed away by other 4 districts and slowly taking over.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall changes: New York’s population rose substantially, while Manhattan’s share fell and the other districts’ share increased. The percentages for the districts are reported accurately, and the comparison between 1900 and 2000 is relevant. However, the description of the city’s total growth is imprecise: the increase from 1800 to 1900 was about 4,240%, not “almost 4,200%” (a reasonable approximation), but the later rise was about 133%, which you state correctly. More importantly, the response does not give the actual total population figures or explain that Manhattan’s population itself rose to a peak in 1900 before declining by 2000. The overview is also unclear when it describes a “slowly stumbling downward” change. Select and explain these key features more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response follows a broadly sensible order, moving from the citywide population to Manhattan and the other districts, and it uses comparisons such as “from 76% to 54% … to only 19%.” This gives the reader a basic sense of the trends. However, the ideas are compressed into one paragraph, and the progression is weakened by unclear links and references. For example, “This illustrates a slight change in population demograph” does not clearly connect to the preceding figures, while “the third shows” is confusing because the task presents the district information in a table. The final sentence repeats the shift in population share rather than adding a clear concluding overview. Separate the overview from the detailed comparisons and use linking phrases to show how each point relates.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonably varied vocabulary for describing change, including “monumental increase,” “sharp growth,” “dramatic increase,” and “share.” These choices show an attempt to go beyond basic terms, and the main meaning is generally understandable. However, several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural for a formal data summary: “staggering increase” is awkward in this sentence, “slowly stumbling downward” is not a suitable description of a trend, and “dominancy … being swallowed away” is unclear and overly figurative. There are also spelling and word-form errors, including “illsutrates,” “demograph,” and “otherhand.” Aim for precise, conventional collocations such as “rose sharply,” “declined,” and “accounted for,” and check spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of sentence forms, including comparisons across several years and a contrast introduced by “whereas” and “on the other hand.” The intended meaning can usually be followed, but some grammatical and punctuation errors reduce clarity. For instance, “From 1800-1900 the population saw a monumental increase by almost 4,200%.whereas” has faulty sentence punctuation and an awkward construction; “from 24% to 46% then to 81% by 2000’s” also needs clearer parallel phrasing and correct use of the decade/year expression. Several sentences run together without spaces after full stops, and capitalisation of “New York” and “Manhattan” is inconsistent. Use complete sentences, punctuate contrasts carefully, and check articles and prepositions in phrases such as “an increase of” and “the population of Manhattan.”

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