Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The tables illustrate the overall changes in New york's population and its five states from the year1800 to 2000.
Overall population of New york significantly increased during these years and was the heighest in 2000 whereas in terms of states manhattan had the highest numbers compared to the other districts.
Population of New york was around seventy nine thousnad in 1800 which drastically increased to 3.4 million by 1900 but did not slow down and was a stagering 8 million by the year 2000.
Now comparing the states population, we see that about 76 percent of the New yorker's lived in manhattan in 1800 which was the heigher then the other four states combined which made only 24 percent of the remaining numbers. In 1900 Manhatten saw a decrease in population and was reduced to 54 percent but was still heigher then the other states combined which only contributed around 46 percent.
Year 2000 was shocking as the population contribution of Manhattan in New york was reduced to only 19 percent whereas the other four states numbers sky rocketed to 81 percent overall.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
You identify the main trends accurately: New York’s total population rose sharply, while Manhattan’s share fell from 76% to 19% and the other districts’ share increased. The overview also highlights the key contrast between Manhattan and the combined districts, and the figures you include are consistent with the tables. This gives the response clear coverage of the task. To make the account more fully developed, report the actual population figures for Manhattan and the other districts at one or more dates, rather than relying almost entirely on percentages. Also, the statement that Manhattan had the highest numbers compared with the other districts is imprecise: the table groups the four districts together, so clarify that the comparison is with their combined share, not each district individually.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response is organised into an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs covering the total population and district shares. Its progression from the overall trend to the changing distribution is easy to follow, and phrases such as “Overall” and “Now comparing” help signal the stages. This is a coherent arrangement, with some effective progression beyond a basic list of figures. However, linking is occasionally mechanical, and the final paragraph begins abruptly with “Year 2000 was shocking.” Use more neutral transitions and connect the comparisons more explicitly. For example, a concluding comparison could state that the four other districts overtook Manhattan in combined share by 2000. More consistent paragraph-level linking would make the flow smoother.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use an adequate range of vocabulary to describe change, including “significantly increased,” “drastically increased,” “decrease,” and “reduced.” These choices make the main trends clear, and some less common expressions such as “sky rocketed” show an attempt to vary your language. However, several choices are informal or imprecise for an academic report: “shocking” adds an opinion, “numbers” is vague, and “states” is inaccurate for New York’s boroughs. Spelling errors such as “heighest,” “thousnad,” and “Manhatten” also reduce accuracy. Prefer neutral, precise terms such as “boroughs,” “population,” and “accounted for,” and check spelling carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “whereas” and “which,” and the main comparisons are generally understandable. However, grammatical control is uneven, with errors in sentence construction, articles, and agreement. For example, “Overall population of New york significantly increased” needs an article (“The overall population…”), while “about 76 percent … lived” should be “about 76 percent … lived” only if the subject is people; more naturally, “Manhattan accounted for 76%.” The sentence beginning “Year 2000 was shocking as…” also lacks a natural grammatical framing. Use complete, carefully structured sentences and check articles, subject–verb agreement, and punctuation. Greater accuracy in these patterns would make your varied structures more effective.
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