Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The table chart illustrates the information about changes seen in the overall population in new york from 1800 till 2000 whereas,the alterations in community of five distinct cities like Manhattan,Brooklyn,Bronx,Queens,Staten Island is depicted in the table chart two and three over the identical period.

Overall,in the final year the population was at peak as compared to other years .while during initial year Manhattan had the hightest pupulace whereas,total population of rest of the districts was lowest in initial year.

In Detail, In 1800,the populatiom was 79,216 and for the next year it increased and reached at 3,[redacted phone] in the newyork.Moreover,figures for 2000 in newyork city was accounted at 8,009,185 which was highest from all the three years.probing ahead, IN 1800 Population of manhattan was 76% AND IN 1900 IT WAS 54% and in 2000 it was 19%.

in regard to the remaining details ,percentage seen by combining all the four districts's population in 1800 was 24% . furthermore. in 1900 and 2000 the total percentum of population was 46% and 81% respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main broad trends: New York’s total population rose substantially, while Manhattan’s share fell and the other districts’ combined share increased. The figures you give for the three total populations and the percentage shares are generally accurate. However, the overview is limited to the highest and lowest years, and the response does not clearly report the important contrast that Manhattan’s population itself peaked in 1900 before declining by 2000, while the other districts grew markedly. Some details are also imprecise: “for the next year” should refer to 1900, and the district figures are reported only as percentages. To strengthen the report, select and compare key absolute populations as well as shares, and make the overview more specific.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about the total population and district shares. This gives the reader some sense of organisation. However, progression within the detail paragraphs is not always clear: the discussion shifts from total population to Manhattan and then to the other districts without a consistently planned comparison. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “probing ahead,” and “furthermore” are sometimes mechanical or do not clearly show the relationship between points. Punctuation and spacing also make the text harder to follow, particularly in the long opening sentence. Group the data by year or by Manhattan versus the other districts, and use simpler, more precise transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “overall population,” “percentage,” and “districts,” and the reader can understand the general subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or spellings are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear. Examples include “hightest pupulace,” “populatiom,” “percentum,” and “the alterations in community.” Phrases such as “the population was at peak” and “highest from all the three years” are also not idiomatic. Aim for accurate, straightforward language rather than unusual substitutes: for example, use “population,” “share,” “increased,” and “was the highest of the three years.” Check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, but control is inconsistent, especially when clauses are joined. The opening sentence is difficult to parse because it combines several ideas with “whereas” and lacks clear punctuation. There are also recurring errors in articles, sentence boundaries, and verb patterns, as in “reached at 3,437202” and “population … was accounted at.” Capitalisation and punctuation are unreliable, including the lower-case “new york” and the full stops and commas around “furthermore.” These issues sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. Build accuracy with shorter sentences first, then add controlled comparisons using patterns such as “rose from … to …” and “accounted for …%.”

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