Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The first table provides the information about the fluctuations which occur in overall population of Newyork city. While, other two table shows changes in population of five district of Newyork in the same period of time .

Overall,It is clear that population of the Newyork city increased significantly over the time. The Manhattan district contributed higher figure in early years. While, dramatic shift ocuur in other districts which includes Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island in the same time interval.

The New York's total population was 79.216 in 1800 year which drastically increased to 3,437,202 in 1900s and almost doubled up around 8,009,185 in 2000. The 76% of population was contributed by Manhattan and left 24% by the other five districts.The shift started to rise up in 1900 where 46% was accounted by other five districts and 54% by Manhattan alone.In 2000 the most dtasrtic chanje occur where five districts accounted total 81% of population and only 19% was added by Manhattan

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main trends accurately: New York’s population rose substantially, Manhattan was the largest contributor in 1800 and 1900, and the other districts’ share grew to dominate by 2000. The figures you give for the total and the percentage shares match the tables, and the overview captures the key shift. This meets the task well, with some features reported more fully than others: for example, you do not give Manhattan’s population figures, including its decline from 1,850,093 in 1900 to 1,538,096 in 2000, and the total’s rise is described without explaining that it more than doubled between 1900 and 2000. Adding these details would make the comparisons more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction to an overview and then to supporting figures. The overview also helps the reader understand the central change before the details. However, progression within the final paragraph is less controlled: the total population figures and district percentages are combined in a long sequence, making the comparisons harder to follow. Some linking is mechanical or unclear, particularly the sentence fragment beginning “While, dramatic shift…” and the repeated use of “where” to introduce data. Organise the details into clearer comparisons—for example, total population first, then the changing shares of Manhattan and the other districts—and use explicit references such as “By 1900” and “By contrast, in 2000”.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased significantly,” “contributed,” “accounted for” and “dramatic shift.” These choices communicate the main ideas, but the range and control are uneven. Some expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as “fluctuations which occur” for a series that shows overall growth, “increased…almost doubled up around,” and “added by Manhattan.” Spelling errors such as “Newyork,” “ocu ur,” “dtasrtic” and “chanje” also reduce accuracy and polish. Aim for standard forms and precise collocations, such as “the population rose,” “nearly doubled,” and “accounted for.” This would make the description clearer and more appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a relative clause in “other districts which includes…” and a comparison introduced by “where.” However, control is inconsistent, and several sentence-level errors make parts of the response awkward. For example, “other two table shows” has a number-agreement error, while “The 76% of population was contributed…” has problematic article use and passive construction. The opening “While, other two table…” is not a complete sentence, and punctuation is often missing after introductory phrases and between clauses. Use complete sentences, check singular and plural agreement, and prefer a clear structure such as “Manhattan accounted for 76% of the population, while the other districts made up 24%.”

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