Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays.

What is the value of long school holidays?

What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays, because in the summer many countries weather is very hot or high then, if students sit in the school of primary and secondary then they difficult take breath then differents small students can died in two months. There fore, in many countries the governmnent obey their school ministers to close the school for two days, some time, the government take step that for the study of primary and secondary school students is that the teacher use the electronic media and teach the students online then the students of primary and secondary school learn their lesson in their home easily. They learn their lesson in active mood. Although, in their countries build the class room in the school is air conditiones butt the srength is up then then classroom the weather is very hot in two months student drunk waters in the school in after some time, then they disturbed mentaly or not focused on their study or lesson. then, in many countries the decide the solved this problem is that they close the school of primary and secondary schools in our countries for two months in the season of summer, in our country gives the holidays in two months of summer some school teachers make program from student is that they go for a trip for picnic in the nothern side our northen side of country is cold in summer, Students and other citizen also be enjoyed there in the summer.My openion is that these holidays of students is good solution in summer.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You mainly explain why schools close in hot weather, mentioning difficulty breathing, poor concentration, and the possibility of online lessons. The example of travelling to a cooler northern area also gives the response some relevant personal context. However, the task asks both about the value of long holidays and arguments for shorter holidays. The benefits of long breaks are only briefly suggested, and the case for shorter holidays is not really discussed. Your final opinion supports summer holidays but does not compare the two options or develop the requested arguments. To improve, address each question directly and explain at least one clear advantage of shorter breaks, such as maintaining learning routines or reducing the need to review material after a long absence.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a recognisable central topic—extreme summer heat—and the response moves from the weather problem to school closures, online teaching, and a holiday example. However, ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs, and much of the response is one long sequence of clauses. Repeated connectors such as “then” and “in many countries” do not consistently show how points relate; for example, the shift from online lessons to air-conditioned classrooms is difficult to follow. The conclusion is present, but it arrives without a clear development of both sides of the question. Use separate paragraphs for the value of long holidays, arguments for shorter holidays, and your conclusion, with more precise links between each point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is basic and often repetitive, but some topic-related expressions communicate the main subject, including “online,” “air conditiones,” “focused on their study,” and “holidays.” At times, however, inaccurate word choice or spelling makes the message difficult to interpret. For instance, “the strength is up” does not clearly express what happens in the classroom, while “active mood” and “differents small students” are unclear in context. There are also repeated forms such as “in the summer” and “students.” Build a more precise range for discussing education and climate, and check spelling and collocations. For example, use “high temperatures,” “maintain concentration,” and “learning routine” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to connect ideas with clauses using “because,” “if,” and “although,” but sentence structures are very limited and frequently inaccurate. In the opening, “if students sit in the school … then they difficult take breath” lacks a correctly formed main clause and verb phrase, which makes the meaning hard to follow. Agreement and verb forms are also problematic in phrases such as “the government take step” and “they close the school … for two months.” Punctuation does not reliably separate complete ideas, so several sentences run together. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with one subordinate clause at a time; check subject–verb agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries during revision.

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