Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays.

What is the value of long school holidays?

What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Education is more important in every countries and in many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer vacations. I will discuss both these statements in the paragraph below.

On the first hand, in my experience, students should learn more in secondary school and they started to move in the difficult time of life about their secondary education. Secondly, in the secondary school, syllabus are much longer depend upon the course and their heavy syllabus long school holidays are impossible. For instance, who students witch choose biology subjects and and they efforts to learn more by their teachers and do not read in tuition because they do not efford fee so in this situation secondary school should required little times for in the summer holidays. Furthermore, when secondary school annouced holidays they also give offer to students to arrange summer camp in the summer holidays because they do not forget about their subjects of their study.

On the other hand, in the early age children are very possesive and they also tired when they teach early study by their teachers easily. In addition, children do not care and they do not understanding about their health, this cause parents worries about their children. Moreover, primary school should annouce more months of holidays in the summer time.

TO co

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response recognises the topic and attempts to discuss both long and shorter holidays, but the arguments are only minimally developed and parts of the task are not clearly answered. The point that secondary students have a heavy syllabus could support shorter breaks, while the comments about younger children becoming tired and parents worrying suggest a case for longer holidays; however, these positions are difficult to follow and are not explained with clear, relevant examples. The opening says both statements will be discussed, but no clear overall view is established. The response is also 43 words below the 250-word minimum; 16 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop each side with a clear reason and a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction and two body paragraphs, with signposts such as “On the first hand,” “Secondly,” and “On the other hand.” This gives the reader some indication that different points are being introduced. However, the progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow: the discussion moves from syllabus length to tuition and then summer camps without clearly showing how each point supports the argument. Several sentences are incomplete or unclear, and the final fragment, “TO co,” leaves the response unfinished. Use one main idea per paragraph, explain the connection between supporting details, and finish with a conclusion that summarises your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some topic-related vocabulary, including “secondary school,” “syllabus,” “summer camp,” and “summer holidays,” so the subject is generally identifiable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and inaccurate word choice or spelling often makes the intended meaning hard to understand. Examples include “possessive” where a different description of children is needed, “annouced” for “announced,” and “efford fee” where the intended meaning appears to concern being unable to afford tuition. Phrases such as “difficult time of life” and “heavy syllabus long school holidays are impossible” are also unclear or unnatural. Build a more precise vocabulary for discussing learning, rest, and family concerns, and check spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentences and uses connectors such as “because,” “when,” and “in addition,” but control of sentence structure is inconsistent. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in examples such as “syllabus are” and “they started to move,” while “they do not understanding” shows an incorrect verb pattern. Articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries also need attention; for instance, “secondary school should required little times” is not grammatically complete, and the final “TO co” is an unfinished fragment. These problems frequently make relationships between ideas difficult to interpret. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with subordinate clauses, checking subject–verb agreement and verb forms.

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