Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays.

What is the value of long school holidays?

What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

OUTLINE:

Introduction,

Body paragraph one,

Body paragraph two,

Conclusion,

Summer holidays is very important for young children. In many countries primary and secondary schools are closed for two are three months in summer holidays. It is the basic need of young children. In this time period young once's feel happy and enjoy holidays with family and friends moreover in this period children teach new things from friends and other children of society.

On the one hand, long term holidays become valueable for children. In this time children are free to doing anything. They play in the grounds with friends and teach new lessons from new friends and according to this mind of children become wast. From another reason, in this time period a home work is given to children to continue his study so, children work hard and complete his work in addition to this and also focus to his sports activities to maintain his health.

on the other hand, for shorter holidays I am not agree with this statement, because in shorter holidays children not complete his work and not enjoy the holidays freely. According to this

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the value of long holidays, mentioning time with family and friends, play, learning from peers, homework and sports. However, the response addresses the task only minimally: the value of long holidays is discussed briefly, while the arguments in favour of shorter holidays are not really explained. The statement “I am not agree with this statement” gives a position against shorter holidays, but the following claim that children cannot complete work or enjoy holidays in a shorter break is unfinished and unsupported. The response also stops before a conclusion. The required minimum of 250 words is not met, which limits how fully you can develop and support both parts. Explain each side with clear reasons and a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction and two contrasting sides, using “On the one hand” and “on the other hand.” These signals help the reader recognise the intended structure. However, the ideas are not arranged coherently throughout: the opening includes several points without a clear progression, and the second side ends abruptly at “According to this,” leaving the argument incomplete. The outline labels at the beginning do not function as paragraphs or guide the reader through the essay. Some links, such as “moreover” and “in addition to this,” connect ideas, but the relationships between those ideas are not always clear. Use complete paragraphs, develop one main point at a time, and finish with a conclusion that summarises your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “summer holidays,” “sports activities,” “home work,” and “shorter holidays,” so the general topic is understandable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and several inaccurate word choices or spellings make parts difficult to interpret. For example, “young once's” appears to mean “young ones,” while “mind of children become wast” does not communicate a clear idea. “Teach new lessons from new friends” is also an imprecise way to describe learning from peers. Aim for more precise phrases such as “socialise with friends,” “develop new skills,” and “maintain physical fitness.” Check spelling and choose vocabulary that expresses your intended meaning directly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer sentences linked with conjunctions, for example, “In this time period a home work is given to children to continue his study so…” This shows an effort to connect related ideas, but the range of structures remains limited, and complex attempts are often faulty. Errors include subject–verb agreement in “Summer holidays is,” verb patterns in “free to doing,” and pronoun agreement in “children…his work.” Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “a home work” and the long sentence beginning “From another reason.” These errors sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then build longer sentences with clear clauses and consistent subjects and pronouns.

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