Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays.

What is the value of long school holidays?

What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Most of the countries announced summer vacations im different primary and secondary school for the prevention of heat stock , In my perspective holidays are not so beneficial for the education system , In forthcoming paragraph I shall explain why vacations produce negative impact on our future leaders .

It is considered that many countries declare vacations during hot weather because the weather in that duration is so harsh and unbearable , majority of the children suffer from dehydration leads to Nausea, vomiting, and lethargy , which is very serious condition according to national and international news many people die due to heat wave .

pre-dominant developing countries like Pakistan face load shedding issue from recent many years this make the situation more miserable student feel difficulty in learning process , this can mitigate the attention of children .

Government should try to deteriorate these types of situations by taking some effective steps which prove to be very beneficial for the development of country because the progress is only possible when we try to enhance the focus of studies by alleviating the vacations because holidays are responsible for the study deviation in students .

Lawmakers should try to control load shedding through this owners become able to provide suitable atmosphere for effective learning ,more over Government should try to invest enough budget for educational institutes.

In conclusion it is the responsibility of Government to provide better facilities to educational institutes like availability of air condition and filtered chilled water for hydrations these strategies help to reduce holidays in primary and secondary schools which play a key role in development of any country

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing the value of holidays and the arguments for shorter ones. However, the development is somewhat limited. The essay focuses heavily on the specific context of heat waves and load shedding in Pakistan, which acts as a narrow example rather than a broader discussion of the educational or social value of holidays. While the position is clear, the arguments lack depth and the connection between the proposed solutions (like air conditioning) and the broader concept of school holidays is not fully explored. To improve, ensure that ideas are expanded with more general reasoning rather than focusing on a single regional issue.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow between ideas is often disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'Government should try to'. Some sentences are run-on, such as the second paragraph, which lacks proper punctuation to separate distinct ideas. The transition between the value of holidays and the arguments for shorter ones is abrupt. Improving the use of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'on the other hand') and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the logical progression of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'deteriorate' (used incorrectly to mean 'improve' or 'fix') and 'study deviation'. The phrase 'pre-dominant developing countries' is also slightly awkward in this context. While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'dehydration' and 'lethargy', the overall range is limited. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding the misuse of sophisticated-sounding words that do not fit the intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Punctuation is a significant issue, with many run-on sentences and comma splices, such as '...unbearable , majority of the children...'. There are also errors in article usage ('the prevention of heat stock') and subject-verb agreement. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and punctuation structures impede the flow and reduce the overall accuracy. Focusing on sentence boundaries and basic grammatical rules would help improve the score in this criterion.

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