Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays.

What is the value of long school holidays?

What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In most nations, primary, as well as secondary schools vacate for 60 days or more in the summer breaks

On the one hand, long school holiday can create a negative impact in the upbringing of the children, in the sense that the longer they remain at home the easier for them to forget what had been taught, as a result, the teachers will be faced with a more distressing task of trying to refreshen their memories on a previously taught topic, this however kills time which can be used to engage in other new modules. Also this can expose the kids to danger as they tend to play away their time and indulge in so many despicable acts like joining a bad group as the teachers are not there to monitor their activities and most parents might be too busy to handle them, some can injure themselves while playing and totally forget themselves. For example, I remembered when I was in secondary school in the year 1999, on 9th of July during the long vacation, I was fully overwhelmed in playful mood that I forgot I needed to do my take-home assignment given to me by my teacher, until we resume for the next session, my mind skipped the school work and I was heavily punished for not attending to my holiday project.

On the other hand, shorter school holidays are more rewarding because it will make the students to always remain embedded with school work and activities, thereby creating an avenue for them to constantly avoid danger and bad group as their activities will be fully monitored by the teachers.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing the value of long holidays and the arguments for shorter ones. However, the development is uneven. The first body paragraph provides a personal anecdote, which is acceptable, but the arguments regarding 'despicable acts' and 'bad groups' are somewhat generalized and lack depth. The second body paragraph is significantly underdeveloped, failing to provide sufficient explanation or examples to support the claim that shorter holidays are more rewarding. To improve, ensure that each argument is fully extended with clear reasoning and illustrative examples, maintaining a balanced focus across all parts of the question.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow is hindered by significant punctuation issues. Many sentences are run-on, such as the first paragraph where multiple independent clauses are joined only by commas. This makes the progression of ideas feel mechanical and sometimes confusing. While some cohesive devices like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' are used, the internal cohesion within paragraphs is weak due to the lack of proper sentence boundaries. Improving sentence structure and using a wider variety of linking words would significantly enhance the logical flow of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. Phrases like 'despicable acts' and 'fully overwhelmed in playful mood' are slightly unnatural or imprecise. There is some repetition of basic vocabulary, such as 'activities' and 'teachers'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more sophisticated collocations and academic vocabulary. For example, instead of 'forget what had been taught', you could use 'experience academic regression' or 'lose knowledge retention'. Expanding your range of synonyms will help convey your ideas more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, particularly regarding sentence structure. There is a persistent issue with comma splices and run-on sentences, where multiple ideas are strung together without proper punctuation or conjunctions. For instance, the sentence starting '...the longer they remain at home...' contains several clauses that should be separated. Additionally, there are minor errors in verb tense and article usage, such as 'in the upbringing' (should be 'in the upbringing of children') and 'I remembered when I was' (should be 'I remember'). A greater focus on sentence variety and accurate punctuation is essential for improvement.

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