Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays.

What is the value of long school holidays?

What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Today I would like to talk about the holidays in primary and sceondary schools what there benefits and also disadvantages so According to your opinion Summer holiday is very important specially in primary school because the in primary schools are very younger and in summer day there is a extreme level of hotness which effects student health and obviously study as well because of hot in summer it is very difficult to hang out with friends and going to the school a day any relative house . As I have experience my one of a family member school open still even in holidays there told students to co e school and attent class and complete their pending work schools open there summer camp for student study but in the extreme hotness my ine of family members had fever and he is ill to much and had a study pressure as well going school in mandatory for student because of strict teachers and he is ill so we go to the hospital and doctor exmine my cousin and said his condition is not good and doctor advised not to go school even when school properly open until he becomes healthy and fine and sadly he didn't even appear in boad exam and failed and his one year waste because of carelessness that why l believe in summer atleast two month holiday is mandatory same opinion for secondary school so l am not agree for the argument in favor of shorter holidays

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development is significantly hindered by a lack of structure and a reliance on a single, anecdotal personal narrative. While you mention the value of holidays (health/heat) and argue against shorter holidays, the ideas are not presented as a balanced academic argument. The essay lacks a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The personal anecdote about your cousin is too specific and dominates the entire response, preventing a broader discussion of educational or social benefits. To improve, you must structure your essay into clear paragraphs and present generalized arguments rather than focusing on a single personal experience.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay is written as a single, long, run-on sentence without any paragraph breaks or punctuation. This makes it extremely difficult for the reader to follow the progression of ideas. There is a complete lack of cohesive devices (such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'however') to link ideas logically. The text lacks an introduction and a conclusion, which are essential for a coherent academic response. To reach a higher band, you must organize your ideas into distinct paragraphs—one for the value of holidays, one for the counter-arguments, and one for your conclusion—and use appropriate linking words to connect your sentences.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You use basic terms like 'very important', 'very younger', and 'very difficult' repeatedly. There are also several errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'sceondary', 'boad exam', and 'attent class'. The phrasing is often informal and lacks the precision required for an academic task. To improve, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, including topic-specific collocations related to education and health, and focus on accurate spelling and word formation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammar is the most significant area for improvement. The entire response consists of one long, unpunctuated sentence, which is a major error in grammatical control. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the in primary schools are very younger'), tense usage, and sentence structure. The lack of full stops, commas, and capital letters makes the text very difficult to parse. You need to focus on writing shorter, grammatically correct sentences and using basic punctuation to separate your thoughts. Currently, the frequent errors and lack of sentence boundaries impede communication.

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