Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays.

What is the value of long school holidays?

What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

So many countries, primary and secondary schools was closed for two months or more in the summer holidays, due to very heat and the sun was rises more.

Overall, the primary schoools effect of heat the children become some diseases such like fever, and other diseases the primary school childrens age group was under 3 to 6 years old they can effect easily, For example if holidays was only one month of summer holidays the primary children can effect various condition and the students can felt unsafe in the school, the sun was rises some times nearly 45 degrees so, that if children are stay in the school at the time they seat under the fan but sometimes they felt uncomfort, if they stay in the home at the same time the people are safe because they stay with their parents at home felt comfort, however last five months back summer holidays one employee teacher was died due to they can stay mostly under the sun light due to they went for other villages for canversing new students can join in their school the aged under 30 years women was died, so the people has given a long summer holidays.

Secondly, To beign with secondary schools close for two months in summer holidays due to sun rises more it can generate heat the people can felt unsafe at the school at the time around sun was raises 48 degress while the chidren can romaing under the sunlight they causes some diseases, primary schools children was under 8 to 15 years old so, the people can has some energy, some people has week at the time, For example they can occur various disease they can rom hear and their 10 to 15 days the schools beagin half days school begin with morning 8 am and finish with afternoon 12 pm at the time chidren has final exams of their academic year.

In conclusion, primary and seconday schools close for two months in summer holidays it was very long holidays in the school life they childrens can enjoy with their holidays to stay in the home after finish their school days in the higher education the didn't have much holidays lastly the had holodays 2 to 3 weeks.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing both the value of long school holidays and the arguments for shorter ones. However, the development of ideas is limited and somewhat confused. The student attempts to explain the value of long holidays in terms of protection from extreme heat and health risks, and touches upon the logistical issues in secondary schools. For example, the mention of teachers and students facing high temperatures and health concerns is relevant to the topic of climate and school calendars. Nevertheless, the arguments are repetitive, lack strong supporting evidence, and often wander into unclear anecdotes, such as the mention of an employee teacher dying. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed, earning a Band 5.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response shows some basic attempts at organisation, utilising transitional markers such as 'Overall', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion'. However, there is no clear overall progression or logical structure. Paragraphing is poorly handled, with massive blocks of text that mix disparate points together without clear thematic division. Furthermore, referencing and cohesive devices are frequently inaccurate or confusing, making it difficult to follow the progression of thought. For instance, sentences are strung together with commas and weak conjunctions rather than appropriate subordination or punctuation, leading to run-on sentences that obscure the argument. This level of organisation aligns with Band 4.0 descriptors.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently relying on simple terms such as 'heat', 'diseases', 'safe', and 'children'. There are notable word choice and collocation errors throughout the text, such as 'the sun was rises more', 'children can effect various condition', and 'canversing new students'. These lexical inaccuracies and spelling errors frequently strain the reader's understanding. While the student attempts to use some topic-related vocabulary like 'academic year' and 'primary and secondary schools', the overall range is limited and inadequate for more precise expression. This performance fits the Band 4.0 level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, dominated by poorly controlled simple and compound sentences. Complex structures are attempted, but they are almost always faulty, featuring severe errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, and clause structure (e.g., 'primary and secondary schools was closed', 'the student can felt unsafe', 'the people has given a long summer holidays'). Punctuation is largely neglected, resulting in frequent run-on sentences where independent clauses are incorrectly joined by commas. These persistent and frequent errors cause considerable difficulty for the reader and distort meaning, which is characteristic of a Band 4.0 performance.

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