Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays.
What is the value of long school holidays?
What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
It has been a very long discussion, that primary and secondary sechools are close for two months in summer time ispecifically in many countries. Schools are closed jsut to ive children a plenty of time spend and even these two months are deemed as heatstorm by weather department, in these months children in schools will be get relax and be hydrated at home and provide themssleves a space where they get relaxation.
On the one hand, The value of long school holidays is children get away from school, they don;t need to come in scorching heat, bec ause it can have a very setrious concern on their health, For example, in interior side there is a time where sun is providing a schorching heat and it has wfully covered with desert when sand becomes heater than it tranfer heat to the people who are staying over there. if children from interior side go to school it will be hard for them to bear that situatiion.
One the other hand, No I will support this arugment that there will be more holiday in such tough time of summer days which are propely declard as not safe for deveyone bevccause it can cause the you subconcious and you suddenly fall whereever your are because there is properly faciliation of this summer days that if you didn't be hydrated yourself, it will be hard for you to servive in summer time.
To sum up, the primary and seconday school should be closed in the summer holiday so then children and students can be away from such heatstorm warning days which has positive results that they drink water on daily basis to stay them as hydrated person and please be away from these days of time. I will also support this arugment to increase not shorter school holidays
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response addresses the task only minimally, touching upon the health concerns and extreme heat of summer days, but fails to fully or properly explore both prompt questions. While the writer mentions the value of long holidays in relation to avoiding scorching weather, the discussion of shorter holidays is confused and contradicts the prompt's request for arguments in favour of shorter holidays, instead arguing for even longer ones. The ideas presented are limited, repetitive, and under-developed, lacking clear examples or well-structured supporting points. Consequently, the development of the topic remains tangential and fails to meet the broader requirements of a well-rounded academic essay.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
Information and ideas are not arranged coherently throughout the text. Although paragraph breaks are attempted, the overall progression is difficult to follow due to abrupt shifts in thought and a lack of logical transitions. Cohesive devices are used inadequately and inaccurately, such as repetitive transitions like 'On the one hand' and 'One the other hand' which fail to signal genuine contrasting arguments properly. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it hard for the reader to follow the writer's line of reasoning from one sentence to the next. To improve, the writer needs to ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and use logical connectors to link ideas smoothly.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with numerous severe spelling errors and word-choice inaccuracies that strain the reader's comprehension. Examples of lexical strain include 'sechools' for schools, 'ispecifically', 'jsut', 'heatstorm', and 'schorching'. The range of vocabulary is severely limited, and attempts at less common words result in incorrect forms and collocations, such as 'tranfer heat' or 'safely declard'. These frequent errors impede communication and demonstrate a lack of control over standard lexical features. To reach a higher band, the writer must expand their vocabulary range, learn correct word forms, and pay close attention to accurate spelling.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying on simple patterns that are frequently marred by frequent errors which distort meaning. There are persistent issues with verb forms, tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and basic sentence construction, as seen in phrases like 'schools are close', 'children in schools will be get relax', and 'if you didn't be hydrated yourself'. Punctuation is also poorly managed, with run-on sentences and misplaced commas disrupting the flow. To improve, the writer needs to focus on mastering basic sentence architecture, ensuring correct auxiliary verb usage, and reducing fundamental grammatical slips.
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