Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays.

What is the value of long school holidays?

What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

yes, in many countries ,primary and secondary school close for two months or more in the summer holidays.There is the also importance of long holiday as many point of view.first one is that temperature is too high .children become ill.because of high temperature .but study of children is also effected.children can mostly enjoy these vaccation and canot paay attention on study.so, the longer school holidays has many disadvantage such as study also effected.

The courses will not complete and mostly children can not show good results in exam.

On the other hand , there are many arguments in the favour of shorter school holiday. bacause of temperature children can not survive them. for these explanation is this, i see my brother whose read in secondray school.in this summer long holiday ,my brother also pay attention just on games . Can not pay attention on study . so he canot play a good role in examination.

And there was my another brother whose read in primary school .this also has shorter school holidays. i think this my brother whose READ IN primary was good performane in examination than the my brother whose read in scendrey school . so this was my personal experience also.According to my point of view shorter holidays are bast than the longer.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both questions: you mention possible benefits of long holidays, including relief from high temperatures and time for children to enjoy a break, and argue that shorter holidays could help students maintain study habits and perform better. Your examples about your brothers give the response a personal basis. However, the discussion is brief and the value of long holidays is not clearly explained; the response mainly presents disadvantages of long breaks. The comparison between your brothers’ results is also asserted rather than supported with detail. The response contains 206 words, below the 250-word minimum; the 10 words copied from the prompt are excluded from that count. Develop both sides more fully, explain the reasoning behind each point, and make your position clear from the introduction.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: the opening introduces the topic, “On the other hand” signals a shift to shorter holidays, and the final sentence gives your opinion. These features help readers identify the general direction of your argument. However, ideas within paragraphs are often difficult to follow, and the relationship between points is not always clear. For example, the opening moves from high temperatures to illness, then to children’s attention and disadvantages without explaining how these ideas connect. The two brothers’ examples also run together in a long, loosely punctuated section. Use clear paragraphs for the two sides, and connect each claim to its explanation and example with accurate, varied linking.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “summer holidays,” “temperature,” “attention,” “study,” and “examination,” so the general subject is usually understandable. There are also attempts to express evaluation, such as “arguments in the favour” and “According to my point of view.” However, the vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and several spelling or word-choice errors make the message harder to read, including “vaccation,” “canot,” “paay,” and “performane.” Some phrases are not natural in this context, such as “children can not survive them” and “play a good role in examination.” Build a more precise range for discussing learning and rest, and check spelling and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to communicate a position and use some simple sentence patterns, as in “shorter holidays are bast than the longer,” as well as a contrastive transition. However, sentence structures are very limited, and frequent errors in sentence formation and punctuation sometimes obscure the intended meaning. Examples include “There is the also importance of long holiday,” “children become ill.because of high temperature,” and “my brother whose read in secondray school.” Articles, verb forms, agreement, and sentence boundaries need more consistent control. Practise writing complete subject–verb sentences, then combine related ideas using accurate clauses such as “because” or “although.” Proofread for capital letters and full stops so that each sentence expresses one clear point.

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