Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays.

What is the value of long school holidays?

What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

yes this absolutly right must of the primary and secodary schools close for tow months in the summer holidays because in the summer session due to high tempratue i mean people feel and not face the hot due to this reason the prancipal give the more holidays not parincipal govt ok now i wouls like to talk about the value of the long holidays if student spend these holidays this is effect on the student study but this is more beneficial to the healt of the student because due to more hot envirnoment creat a eye problems akso this eye problems occure upon me in the summer and also occure due to sun but if the student in it the home if the student not effected and face like this problems also we see in the summer session the eye problem like elergi and also some nose blood problems and the benefits of the summer two months holidays is more student not occure in these problems ans also effected to fo study but now is a modran world we easily get a good education on the helps of internet now i want to talk about the arguments in favour of shorter schools holidays we play game with afriends different type of like carakot football and so on in the short holy days we do enjuimet and also some time we do a party like a tour and make a group and follow so hotal to eat a freesh food .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You attempt to address both questions: you describe health benefits of staying indoors during hot weather, then mention games, socialising and outings as reasons shorter holidays may be attractive. These points are relevant, but the response only minimally develops the task. The value of long holidays is mainly presented as avoiding heat-related problems, while the case for shorter holidays is unclear: games and trips are activities during holidays, but you do not explain why shorter breaks are preferable or how they benefit learning. The opening also focuses on why schools close rather than establishing a clear position on the two questions. To strengthen the response, explain each argument and support it with a specific example or comparison.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to move from the value of long holidays to arguments about shorter holidays, signalled by phrases such as “now i wouls like to talk about” and “now i want to talk about.” This gives the reader some indication of the intended order. However, the response is presented as one long block, and ideas run together without clear paragraphing or a consistent progression. Several points—heat, eye problems, internet education, games and trips—are added with little explanation of how they connect. Repeated use of “also” and “because” does not clearly show the relationship between all the ideas. Use separate paragraphs for each question and organise each around one main point, followed by an explanation and example.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small set of topic-related words, including “summer holidays,” “student,” “health,” “internet,” “football” and “party,” so the general subject can be recognised. However, vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling errors make several phrases difficult to understand, such as “tempratue,” “envirnoment,” “elergi” and “enjuimet.” Some word choices are unclear or unsuitable, including “nose blood problems” and “freesh food.” Aim to use more precise expressions for the ideas you want to convey, such as heat-related illness, eye irritation, social activities and educational resources. Learning accurate spelling and common collocations for school holidays and health would make your points clearer and more appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to form longer sentences using “because,” “but” and “if,” showing some effort to connect ideas rather than relying only on short statements. However, sentence structures are very limited in control, and frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence boundaries often make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “if student spend these holidays this is effect on the student study” does not clearly express the intended relationship, and “we play game with afriends” lacks accurate sentence structure and article use. Capitalisation and punctuation are also largely absent, so the reader has difficulty identifying where one idea ends and another begins. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine them accurately with conjunctions.

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