Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays.

What is the value of long school holidays?

What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In many Countries,at the end of school session, primary and secondary school goes on a long break or more in summer holdiays. Despite the importance of loner school breaks, some people still preferes shorter school holidays.

Firstly, Long school holidays creates a stronger bond between parents and their children,because most times dueing school period, parents hardly gets time to bond with their children as a result some children tends to feel lonly and unloved. Secondly it provides an avenue for family reunion, for instance, families can go on vacations and tourism to other countries which acnnot not be achived with short school breaks. Also, longer school breaks, gives the children enough time to rest, and prepare ahead for the next session. summer holidays are usually exciting , because there are alot of activities that can be done withing this period, which includes going to the beach, watching the sun rise , enjoying the beautiful cozy environments.

Howevere, some peole preferes shorter holdiays with reason that it can mak

that it gives parent time for themslevss after having to deal wiith magaging the home and taking care of work and businesses.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You address both questions to some extent: the value of longer holidays is explained through family bonding, reunions, rest and leisure, while the final paragraph begins to give a reason for shorter breaks. However, the response is incomplete and the argument for shorter holidays is barely developed; it ends mid-sentence at “that it gives parent time for themslevss,” so the reader cannot fully understand the point. The benefits of long holidays are mostly listed rather than supported with clear explanation or examples. The response also falls 60 words short of the required minimum, limiting the opportunity to develop both sides. To improve, complete the shorter-holiday argument, explain its effects, and add a clear concluding position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: the opening introduces the topic, “Firstly” and “Secondly” signal supporting points, and “Howevere” introduces the opposing view. These markers help the reader identify the broad direction of the argument. However, progression is weak because several benefits are placed together without clear development, and the final paragraph breaks off before its idea is complete. The response has no conclusion, and the transition from family reunion to rest and leisure feels like a list rather than a connected discussion. Some linking is also mechanical. Use separate, focused paragraphs for each side, connect each reason to its explanation or example, and finish with a concise conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “family reunion,” “vacations,” “rest,” and “activities.” There are also attempts at more descriptive language, such as “stronger bond” and “beautiful cozy environments.” However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts difficult to read, including “loner,” “holdiays,” “lonly,” and “achived.” Some expressions are awkward or imprecise, such as “goes on a long break” and “an avenue for family reunion.” Aim for accurate spelling and more natural collocations, and avoid adding descriptive phrases that do not clearly support the argument. A wider range of precise terms for learning, childcare and family time would help express the ideas more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a reason clause beginning “because” and a result structure with “as a result.” This shows some effort to connect ideas grammatically. However, errors are frequent, and some sentences are difficult to follow. For example, “primary and secondary school goes” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “parents hardly gets time” and “some children tends” also use incorrect agreement. The final sentence is incomplete and contains a repeated clause, which obscures its meaning. Punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, particularly after commas and at the start of sentences. Practise checking subject–verb agreement, sentence boundaries and complete clauses, then use a few controlled complex sentences to explain each point.

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