Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays.

What is the value of long school holidays?

What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Around the world in many countries, primary and secondary school give holidays in summer for two months or more than. This is a tradition to close school for long time in summer due to the concern about children safety.

The change in ecosystem, and the break down of protecting layer ozone which protect us from the infrared radiations and harmfull radiations that can burn our skin and cause many other diseases like cancer and heat stroke and people become sick firstlt then diagnosed with serious problems. Due to weak ozone layer, the temperature becoming high day by day and affect directly on every individual. Mostly, the persons not come outside from their houses in summer after 12pm because at this time the sun at its peak level and emitting dangerous radiation. After 4pm to 5pm, people begin to come out from homes and do work which they stop or postponed before 12pm.

In summer, the school give holidays mostly in june to mid of august because in these months the temperature become too high that children can not bear and fell down, unconcious or start vomitting and become sick. According to my own experience, when i was a student at primary level during summer in june when sun at its peak emitted radiation i stood up in the assembly for prayer suddenly i felt some thing wierd and started vomitting and fell down on ground,

In conclusion, this is crucial to close primary and secondary level schools atleast for two months or more. Best for children care and benefit for their health. beacuse health is wealth

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response gives a clear view that long summer closures protect children from heat, and the personal account of becoming ill at school supports this point. However, the task asks both about the value of long holidays and arguments for shorter holidays. The essay focuses almost entirely on heat-related health risks and does not explain what shorter holidays could offer, such as maintaining learning routines or reducing the need to relearn material. The discussion of ozone depletion and radiation also takes up space without clearly establishing the value of the holiday itself. To improve, address both questions directly and develop at least one relevant argument for shorter breaks alongside your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: the opening introduces summer closures, the middle paragraphs explain heat-related concerns and give a personal example, and the final paragraph states a conclusion. The personal experience is relevant to the preceding point. However, the overall progression is limited because the response does not move on to the second part of the question, and the second and third paragraphs repeat similar claims about high temperatures and illness. Connections between ideas are sometimes unclear, particularly in the long explanation of ozone, radiation and people’s daily routines. Use clearer topic sentences, separate distinct arguments into paragraphs, and add linking phrases that show how each point answers one of the two questions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses some topic-related vocabulary, including “ozone layer,” “radiation,” “heat stroke” and “diagnosed,” and these choices help communicate the health concern. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate or awkward, such as “break down of protecting layer,” “fell down,” and “the temperature becoming high.” Spelling errors such as “harmfull,” “unconcious” and “wierd” are also noticeable. These issues sometimes make the reader work to understand the intended meaning. Build a more accurate range for discussing education and holidays, and check spelling and collocations. For example, use “protective ozone layer,” “collapsed,” and “temperatures are rising.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple statements and longer sentences, and the personal example gives some variety in sentence structure. However, control is inconsistent, especially in longer sentences, where clauses are joined without clear grammatical structure. Examples include “the temperature becoming high day by day and affect directly on every individual” and “when sun at its peak emitted radiation.” There are also recurring problems with articles, agreement and verb forms, as in “the school give holidays” and “people not come outside.” These errors can make parts of the explanation difficult to follow. Practise forming complete clauses with consistent tense and subject–verb agreement, and use shorter sentences when explaining several linked effects.

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