Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays.

What is the value of long school holidays?

What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is often claimed that in many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in summer holidays. These hoidays are good for students and the examples are discribed below.

To begin with, Nowadays we see in many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two or more months in the summer hoildays. The main reason for these holidays is, in the main months of summer june and july when the sun's hottnes at its peak and the temperature goes up to 45 degree and it is not good for childern health. In this much hottnes when the childern come to school then they can face many type off diseases like migrane etc.

Moreover, the schools not only give students free holidays, the students get to much syllabus from school and all the homework is nesassery because its that syllabus which is not completed because of holidays. The students also like long holidays and they are not in favour of shorter holidays just because it is very difficult for them to come in this much heat. Overall as we see from our own experience, the summer long school hoildays are better than the shorter school holidays because the students study all the year and they also want a break thats why it is importent.

In conclusion, It is good to give summer hoildays to students but the to short school holidays is not good for them and also the to long holidays because in short holidays students cant rest properly and in the long holidays they can leave study.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify a relevant benefit of long holidays: children can avoid attending school during extreme summer heat, which you link to health problems. However, the task asks both for the value of long holidays and arguments in favour of shorter holidays. The second part is not meaningfully developed; instead, you say students oppose shorter breaks, and the conclusion gives conflicting claims that both short and long holidays are not good. Your position is therefore unclear and the ideas remain limited and under-explained. The response also contains 238 words, below the 250-word minimum; the 24 words copied from the task prompt are not counted. To improve, explain the benefits of a shorter break, such as maintaining learning routines, and support each point with a clear example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic paragraph structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” show an attempt to guide the reader. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow because the second paragraph shifts from holidays to homework and then back to students’ preferences without clearly connecting these points. The conclusion also introduces a contradictory view, saying both short and long holidays are not good. Some linking phrases are repetitive or do not accurately signal the relationship between ideas. Organise the response around the two questions, use one paragraph for each, and make sure each sentence develops the paragraph’s main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is basic but generally relevant to the topic, with terms such as “summer holidays,” “temperature,” “health,” and “syllabus.” Some attempts to express specific ideas, including “the sun’s hottnes at its peak” and “many type off diseases,” show that you are trying to be precise, but spelling, word choice and collocation errors make parts of the response difficult to understand. There is also repetition of “students,” “holidays” and “good,” which limits the range. Build a small set of accurate topic phrases and check spelling carefully. For example, use “extreme summer heat” and “health problems” rather than the less natural expressions in the essay, and choose more precise words when comparing the advantages of different holiday lengths.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use mostly simple sentence patterns, alongside some attempts to join ideas with clauses, as in “when the children come to school then they can face…” Meaning is usually recoverable, but errors in sentence construction and punctuation are frequent enough to affect clarity. For instance, “The main reason for these holidays is, in the main months…” is not formed as a clear grammatical sentence, while “the students get to much syllabus” has an unclear structure. Capitalisation after commas and full stops is also inconsistent. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using “because,” “although” and “which.” Check that each sentence has a clear subject and verb, and use punctuation to separate complete ideas.

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