Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

To begin with, there are several reasons some time stop the flying and reduce the number of times fly is important in our daily life . The main reasons is that overall people flying the business and important situation can have dircet people on society . Many people face this issue in their daily live , it can influence their lifestyle in different way . For example it may affect in our daily life because, good environmental is very helpful to leave a healthy life.

On the other hand, some people ague that to reduce the number of time they fly and In addction, some people disagree with to stop flying altogether. Some people mostly fly about there business to an other country. Flying is to time saveing process we can fly at same day to one country to an other country. Mostly business mens prefer to argent meating to an other country.

On the other hand, some people avoied to fly every year who think that is just wast of money. They think who save environmental But, flights fly daliy at there routeen.So flying is very impotant for us because we travel one country to an other country at same day that a very useful thing.

Conclusion, both sides have valid arguments regarding who fly at daily routeen they cant to stop this procss and Some compney introduce environmental friendly Airplans who save environmental and benefits for health.This development outweight the disadvantages for individuals and businesses.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response touches on both sides of the question, mentioning environmental benefits and the usefulness of flying for business, but it does not clearly explain whether the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. The conclusion says the development “outweight[s] the disadvantages,” yet the body mainly argues that flying is important and does not establish how the environmental gains compare. Ideas such as flights being “a time saveing process” and reducing flying being “wast of money” are asserted rather than supported with relevant examples or explanation. The discussion of environmental benefits is especially vague, with no specific account of how fewer flights help the environment. The response is also three words below the required minimum. Develop a consistent position and support each main point with a clear reason or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into paragraphs and to signal contrast with phrases such as “On the other hand” and “Conclusion.” However, the progression is difficult to follow: the opening paragraph refers to reasons for reducing flights but then shifts to unclear claims about business and society, while the second and third paragraphs repeat arguments about the usefulness of flying. The repeated contrast marker “On the other hand” does not clearly show how the ideas relate, and references such as “this issue” and “this development” are not always precise. The conclusion introduces environmentally friendly aeroplanes without preparing this point in the body. Use one paragraph for environmental benefits and one for disadvantages, connect each idea explicitly, and avoid repeating the same transition.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a basic range of topic-related vocabulary, including “environmental,” “business,” “lifestyle,” and “benefits,” so the general subject can be recognised. However, vocabulary is repetitive and often imprecise, which makes several ideas hard to understand. Phrases such as “good environmental,” “argent meating,” and “save environmental” do not express the intended meaning naturally; spelling errors such as “daliy,” “routeen,” and “wast” also reduce clarity. The writer attempts some relevant expressions, including “stop flying altogether” and “environmental friendly Airplans,” but collocations and word forms need more control. Build a small set of accurate phrases for discussing emissions, travel convenience, and business costs, and check spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response relies mainly on simple sentence patterns, with occasional attempts to join ideas using “because” and “who.” These attempts often produce unclear or incomplete structures, as in “The main reasons is that overall people flying the business” and “some people disagree with to stop flying altogether.” There are frequent problems with subject–verb agreement, missing or incorrect articles, and verb forms, for example “people face this issue in their daily live” and “they cant to stop this procss.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, particularly where clauses are joined without clear separation. These errors sometimes obscure the intended relationships between ideas. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add controlled complex sentences with clear subjects and correctly formed verbs.

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