Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

in recents year most of people reduce the number of flies becaus the aeroplane flies so it contain smog that affect air it cause air pollution smog global warming air pollution causes the disesaes so i think that we need to reduce airpollution bcz it badly effect our life we cannot easily breath in airollution there are one negative impact of reduce of people travel through aeroplane when the people less aeroplane travelling every year they donot meet with family they cannot attend family functions meetup parties presentation festive they loss money but enviroment is best for our life because when we fly less the air always clean we can use bus and car for travelling pakistan instead of aeroplane this will save our money

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a relevant overall view: reducing flights is beneficial because aircraft contribute to pollution, and you recognise disadvantages such as missing family events and losing money. However, the response addresses the question only minimally. The environmental benefits are asserted rather than explained, and the disadvantages for businesses are not discussed. The comparison required by “outweigh” is also not made clear; the final claim that the environment is “best for our life” does not fully establish why its benefits outweigh the costs. The response is 125 words short of the 250-word minimum, which leaves little room to develop reasons or provide relevant examples. To improve, state your position directly and explain both sides with specific support before reaching a clear conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic line of thought: you mention pollution, then the disadvantages of reduced travel, and finish by supporting cleaner air. This gives the reader some sense of your position. However, the ideas are presented as one long, largely unpunctuated sequence, so the relationships between points are difficult to follow. For example, the shift from “they loss money” to “but enviroment is best” is not clearly explained, and the list of family events is not separated from the surrounding claims. There are few linking expressions beyond “because,” “so,” and “but,” and some connections are unclear. Use separate paragraphs for benefits, disadvantages, and your conclusion, with clear topic sentences and linking phrases that show contrast and cause.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small set of relevant topic words, including “air pollution,” “global warming,” “family functions,” and “travelling,” so the main subject is generally recognisable. However, vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and several inaccurate forms or collocations make parts of the response difficult to understand. For instance, “number of flies” appears to mean flights, while “the aeroplane flies so it contain smog” does not express the intended environmental point clearly. Spelling errors such as “disesaes,” “enviroment,” and “breath” also reduce clarity. Build a more precise range for discussing emissions and economic effects, and check spelling and word forms. For example, use “aircraft emissions” and “reduce the frequency of flights” rather than repeating general references to pollution and travel.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas using clauses with “because,” “when,” and “so,” showing some effort to go beyond isolated simple statements. However, sentence structures remain very limited, and frequent errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, and verb forms sometimes obscure meaning. In “the aeroplane flies so it contain smog,” the clauses need clearer punctuation and the verb does not agree with its subject. “When the people less aeroplane travelling” is missing a complete verb structure, while “they loss money” uses an incorrect verb form. Most of the response is a run-on sentence, making it hard to identify where one idea ends and another begins. Practise writing short, complete sentences first, then combine them accurately with conjunctions and punctuation.

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