Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

This assertion that a major issuse of the air pollution is air fly million of plans on sky every year. now after this news some people have to make plan that they reduce the number of times travels to plan in a year. in my opinion they chnage may reduce some pollution and a little effect businesses.

First and most, air pollution is a highly debated topic. and today around the world thare are millions of plan flying, using fuel and make pollution on sky. A large amount of travel by plans because many fly bus provides cheap and luxury travel and also poeple can save their time. This air pollution effect millions of people in everyday life as mostly urban cities occopied with smooth and pollution.

On the other hand of this investigation, as some poeple agree that they reduce air pollution as stop the number of times traveling by plan. although, this is a shared responsiablity governments and fly agencies make high costed travel and plan few fly in one day rather then 10 times in a day for a city. this change can reduce pollution. Furthermore, certain businesses who work with international orgnaizations and corprations they may faced some difficulties while for business purpose government should provide a friendly packages which help business economics.

In the conclusion, that air pollution mostly created by fly chain. which affect the world humanity with species and environment. in my opionin, we work must on it, as to stop this concert its a responsiabilty must be taken by fly agencies also governments charge high taxes also make high costed tickets and for international and business purpose they should to make a friendly packages and to reduce fly in a day.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address the environmental issue and mention possible effects on businesses, so the response is relevant to the question. Your position appears to be that reducing flights would help the environment, while businesses may face difficulties; however, this view is not stated consistently or developed in enough detail. The task asks whether the benefits outweigh the disadvantages, but the essay does not clearly compare their relative importance. For example, “this change can reduce pollution” is asserted without explaining how significant that benefit is, while the business disadvantage is only briefly mentioned. Develop both sides with specific consequences or examples, then state directly which side outweighs the other and maintain that judgement throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and phrases such as “On the other hand” and “Furthermore” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow because points are loosely linked and the contrast between environmental gains and business disadvantages is not clearly organised. The opening paragraph repeats the idea of reducing flights, while the first body paragraph shifts between pollution, cheap travel and time-saving without showing how these points support the argument. Some linking phrases are also used inaccurately, such as “On the other hand of this investigation.” Organise each body paragraph around one clear side of the comparison, and use simpler, more precise transitions and references.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “air pollution,” “fuel,” “international” and “business,” which helps establish the subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make ideas unclear, such as “air fly,” “fly bus,” “smooth and pollution,” and “friendly packages.” Spelling errors, including “issuse,” “responsiablity” and “orgnaizations,” also reduce clarity. Aim to learn accurate topic phrases and check spelling carefully; for example, use “air travel” or “flights” consistently rather than repeatedly using “fly” as a noun. More precise vocabulary would help you explain environmental effects and business consequences without relying on vague expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to combine ideas using clauses and connectors, for example, “although, this is a shared responsibility…” and “who work with international organizations…,” but complex sentences are often incomplete or incorrectly formed. There are frequent problems with sentence boundaries, verb forms, agreement and articles. For instance, “This air pollution effect millions” needs a correctly formed verb, and “they may faced some difficulties” has an incorrect verb pattern. Several sentences begin with fragments, including “which affect the world humanity,” while the conclusion contains a long, unclear sequence of clauses. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses; check that every sentence has a clear subject and verb and that punctuation separates complete ideas.

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