Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some individuals have decreased the number of flights they take annually or stopped taking flights. Although, it can cause loss to the businesses and people, its advantages to the environment outweigh the disadvantages.

On one hand, most the industries have now become global .People working in businesses have to take multiple flights each year to meet their clients and partners as they have offices in all parts of the world. Travelling is essential for them. If the number of work trips are reduced, it can causes them huge losses. For example, the CEOs of multinational companies have to travel across the world for partnerships and deals. If these meeting are done online, they can never have the same impact. Moreover, it also affects the tourism of many countries as they generate a large amount of revenue from it.

On the other hand, airplanes emit huge amount of carbon and other substances in the environment which causes air pollution. Polllution has detrimental effects on our environment. Ozone year is depleting every year due to increasing pollution which causes rise in global warming. Global warming has very adverse effects on our climate. For instance, glaciers all over the world are melting which results in increasing number of floods. The harmful gases released from the airplanes raises serious concerns for our health and also for our future generations. Our environment and health is more valuable than business deals and profits.

In conclusion, while it is true that travelling by air has become important for companies due to globalisation but our health and mother nature should never be compromised because of it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you believe the environmental benefits outweigh the costs, and the conclusion reinforces this view. You address both sides, with relevant points about business travel, tourism revenue, aircraft emissions and climate impacts. The business paragraph includes a concrete example involving multinational-company CEOs, while the environmental paragraph explains a chain of effects from pollution to warming and melting glaciers. This meets the task well, but development is uneven: the business costs are explained more specifically than the personal disadvantages, and the environmental case relies on broad claims rather than evidence or a more precise example. To strengthen the response further, explain how reduced flying affects individuals and develop one environmental point in greater depth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present contrasting sides, and the conclusion returns to your position. The signposts “On one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow, and ideas within each paragraph generally move in a logical order. Some linking is less smooth, however. The opening “Although” clause is punctuated awkwardly, and the environmental paragraph moves quickly from air pollution to ozone depletion, global warming, glaciers and health without clearly distinguishing these related effects. Use more precise transitions and make the relationship between each cause and consequence explicit. Overall, organisation is clear, though some connections feel formulaic or compressed.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “multinational companies,” “partnerships,” “revenue,” “detrimental effects,” and “global warming.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and the meaning remains clear despite some inaccurate or awkward expressions. For example, “Ozone year” appears to be a spelling or word-choice error, while “huge amount of carbon” and “raises serious concerns” are not the most natural collocations in context. “Mother nature” is understandable but informal for this essay. Aim for more precise environmental terminology and check spelling and collocation carefully; this would make your argument sound more controlled and academic without requiring unnecessarily complicated vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex forms, including a concessive opening and conditional sentences such as “If the number of work trips are reduced…” and “If these meeting are done online…”. The overall meaning is clear, but some grammatical errors remain. In the first sentence, “Although” is used without a complete subordinate clause; later, “it can causes” has an incorrect verb form, and “the number … are reduced” has subject–verb disagreement. There are also errors in “these meeting are done” and “the harmful gases … raises.” Review agreement, singular and plural forms, and the structure of clauses beginning with “although.” More accurate control of these patterns would improve the clarity of your otherwise varied sentences.

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