Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is often argued that few people have decided to produce their air travel or stop completely. While, this decision may creat some difficulties for individuals anr businesses. I believe that its environmental benefitsare greater then disadvantages.

A key arguement, that most people use aeroplan for travelling to other countries. They think that firt peitioty that saving the time. when they travel in aeroplan exectly reached other country in some hours. To much people travel in plan everyday for business meeting or other important work. Almost 1 million people travel in aeroplan every day. in his some people has aimed get study aboard and some people for work purpose and few people travel for visit other places and explore these areas. For instance, chaina is bioggest country in the world in terms of popluation. so, this country is considered of developed country. More population of china travel other country for work purpose and study aboard. this is main reason for business easily travel one country to other country in aeroplan.this is very benefits of airplane.

On the other hand, There are some disadvantages for individuals and businesses. few people believe that travel of airplane is to much disadvantages for environmen. furthermore, every plane produce carbon dioxide, and othe thing incident in air afer that destroying every airplane. airplane company are not need of employe. For example, travelling by bur or train can take several days to reach other country. Moreover, business are depend on international tourists may loss coustomer and money. Airline are also face financial problem because fewer people will buy tickets.

In conclusion, although reducing air travel can creat problem for individuals and business , i believe that protecting thr environment is more important.

Government and people shoulde be alternative use transport method.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view in the introduction and conclusion: you believe environmental protection is more important than the disadvantages. The response also mentions relevant costs, including slower journeys, possible losses for tourism-related businesses, and financial pressure on airlines. However, the discussion only partially answers the comparison in the question. Much of the first body paragraph describes why people fly and gives broad claims about travel in China, rather than explaining the environmental benefits of reducing flights. The benefits are mainly asserted in the conclusion, with little explanation or supporting evidence. Develop both sides directly, then explain why the environmental gains outweigh the specific personal and business costs you identify.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, so the reader can recognise a basic essay structure. You also use signposts such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” to indicate a change of direction. However, progression within the paragraphs is often unclear: the first body paragraph moves from time-saving to business travel, study, and China without showing how these points support the main argument. Some linking is mechanical or confusing, as in “furthermore” before a point that does not clearly develop the previous one. Group related ideas, use topic sentences that answer the question, and make references and transitions clearer so the argument develops step by step.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “carbon dioxide,” “international tourists,” “financial problem,” and “protecting the environment.” However, the range is limited and many spelling and word-choice errors make parts difficult to understand, for example “produce their air travel,” “firt peitioty,” “bioggest,” and “loss coustomer.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “travel in aeroplan” and “airplane company are not need of employe.” These problems reduce precision and sometimes obscure your intended meaning. Build a reliable set of topic phrases and check spelling and collocation; for example, use “reduce the frequency of air travel,” “prioritise saving time,” and “airlines may face financial difficulties.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use some simple sentences and attempt longer structures, including “While, this decision may creat some difficulties…” and “although reducing air travel can creat problem…”. However, complex attempts are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence formation, agreement, articles, and verb forms can make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “A key arguement, that most people use aeroplan” is not a complete, well-formed sentence, while “business are depend” and “few people has aimed” show problems with agreement and verb construction. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses, checking each sentence for a complete main clause and correct verb form.

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