Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In this world, some people have decided to reduce the amount of times they fly, and other argue stop flying altogether, in my persapctive this is very important issue of every country many people travel with different airlines,

First of all, in this society citizens going one country to another country with friends or family, "but" in my opinoin because of this when peoples flying through plane the plane reduce very harmful and bad gasess in weather, these gasess impcut very badly on our health and athmosphear,

Fistly, there are also benefits of development outweight, every person traveled to fly because of some important work, not for no freely just for vital.

In my point of view there are lot of disadvantages, because weather is a main part of living so if we dose not clean weather, we face some difficulties, and had some problems of brith and scink because of flying harmful exhausting.

In conclusion, if pepoles avoid travlled without any reson so we can safe our weather from bad and harmful gasess, and also all people putt headwork and make one big electric plane so they can go through this and safe fuel and protect our earth from bad & ugly gasess, at the end i just advoice all the citizen who live in butiful and good world do hardworking for improve our world and country, this is the end of my ideas, at the last i try to cover my number of characters that's i putt in eassy,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You recognise the environmental concern and give a position that appears to favour reducing unnecessary flights, especially in the conclusion: “we can safe our weather from bad and harmful gasess.” You also mention possible effects on health and suggest electric planes. However, the response only minimally addresses the comparison in the question. The disadvantages for individuals and businesses are not explained, and the claim that people fly only for “some important work” does not develop those costs or benefits. Your position is also difficult to follow because you refer to “lot of disadvantages” without clearly weighing them against environmental gains. To strengthen the response, state your view directly and develop relevant examples on both sides before explaining why one outweighs the other.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response with an opening, body points and a conclusion, and signposts such as “First of all,” “Firstly,” and “In conclusion” show an awareness of essay structure. However, ideas are not arranged coherently enough for the reader to follow a clear line of reasoning. The first body paragraph shifts from travel with family to harmful gases without a clear link, while “there are also benefits of development outweight” is difficult to connect to the surrounding points. Several sentences run together, and the conclusion introduces electric planes and a call for “hardworking” without showing how these follow from the argument. Use separate paragraphs for environmental effects and personal/business disadvantages, and connect each point explicitly to your overall judgement.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

Your vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with frequent spelling and word-choice errors that strain understanding. The repeated phrases “bad and harmful gasess” and “weather” do not express the environmental issue precisely; terms such as “greenhouse-gas emissions” and “air quality” would be more suitable. Some choices also obscure meaning, including “reduce the amount of times,” “not for no freely just for vital,” and “putt headwork.” There are attempts to use topic-related words such as “environment,” “health,” “fuel,” and “electric plane,” which provide a starting point. Build a small set of accurate topic vocabulary and check spelling and collocations, rather than repeating general words such as “bad,” “good,” and “important.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, but control is limited and errors are frequent, sometimes making the intended meaning difficult to understand. For example, “other argue stop flying altogether” lacks a clear verb pattern, and “because of this when peoples flying through plane” has problems with clause structure and verb form. Agreement and tense are also inconsistent, as in “citizens going” and “every person traveled to fly.” Punctuation is often missing, creating run-on sentences, particularly in the opening and conclusion. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then join related ideas with a correctly formed subordinate clause. Check verb forms, articles, plurals and sentence boundaries during revision.

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