Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

People think by reducing traveling on plane should be beneficial for us. They also belives that we don't travel on plane in the form of groups or for every small tour. I strongly agree with this statement and in this essay I will support my arguments and explain reasons.

First, by reducing the use of plane it gives many benefits. By travelling on plane it is a very high risk of accidents because it is not a safe choice to travel in air without any safety. We could not rely on these things, However inside the plane people suffer from some bad health issues. For Instance,Nowadays we see on news channels the incidents of plane crash or sometime the group of robbers hichecked the plane and it is very risky for passengers.

Secondly, the main reason it is very expensive and I think it is a waste of money for a very short distance we spend a lot of money buying air tickets. For Example, many people waste their money on buying new planes which they don't need. Travelling also disturbs the birds and air condition. Sometime the plane engine emits the black smog which is harmful for the birds.

In Contrast, Other people think by travelling on plane they save their time. I agree with this plane saves a lot of time by taking passengers to ane place to another in just few hours. But It also has a enormous risk.

In Conclusion, travelling on aeroplane is not a goog choice because it spread various health diseases and It is a big risk of your life travel on plane because we don't believe on machines.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a clear view—“I strongly agree”—and give reasons related to safety, cost and environmental effects. However, the response only minimally addresses the actual comparison: whether environmental benefits outweigh disadvantages for individuals and businesses. Most of the discussion focuses on plane crashes, health risks and ticket costs, rather than explaining how reducing flights benefits the environment or what businesses and individuals would lose. The point about “black smog” and birds is relevant, but it is brief and not developed with an explanation or example. The opposing view that flying saves time is acknowledged, yet its importance is not weighed against environmental gains. To strengthen the response, directly compare emissions reductions with effects such as slower travel, business connections and tourism, and support each main point.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two supporting paragraphs, a counterpoint and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “First,” “Secondly,” and “In Contrast” help signal the stages of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear because several ideas are placed together without showing how they connect. For example, the first body paragraph moves from accident risk to health issues and hijacking, while the second shifts from ticket costs to buying planes and then bird disturbance. Some linking phrases are also mechanical or awkward, and the conclusion repeats the general view rather than drawing together the environmental comparison. Group related points, use clearer references, and make each paragraph develop one central idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “air tickets,” “plane engine,” “black smog,” and “passengers,” and you attempt to express ideas about environmental harm. However, the range is basic and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the intended meaning difficult to follow. For instance, “the group of robbers hichecked the plane” appears to mean that a plane was hijacked, and “air condition” does not clearly express the environmental impact you intend. Repetition of “plane,” “travel,” and “risk” also limits precision. Build a more accurate set of terms for emissions and the consequences of fewer flights, and check spelling and collocations so your ideas are expressed clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including “I strongly agree with this statement and in this essay I will support my arguments,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, control is uneven, particularly in sentence construction, agreement and articles. Examples include “People think by reducing traveling on plane should be beneficial,” where the clause structure is incomplete, and “it is a very high risk of accidents,” which uses an incorrect grammatical pattern. There are also errors such as “Other people think by travelling on plane they save their time” and inconsistent capitalisation after commas. Practise forming complete clauses and using patterns such as “reducing flights can…” and “there is a risk of…”. More accurate sentence forms would make your argument easier to follow.

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