Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-14
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.
Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
In my opinion definately it is more useful to visit from one country to another for businessman or individals.
Firstly, when a businessman go another country for the sake of business he booked his tickets for abroad it is useful for economically, he go out for some business purpose or holidays take business in their country or enhance the number of transactions or to explore his business .
on the other hand if i discuss that is non proficiable yes we can say because in few month government higher the price of tickets to get some more revenue , Moreover selling the higher price tickets in this condition few businessman can't afford the price or can't meet their expactations.
In this situation government should low the pricies or get more revenue , However the businessman go other country for expand their business or get more profit for both for nationally or internationally.
in conculsion it is proved that decided to go outside is more beneficial for individual or national level government get more profit or same like a businesman too.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0
The response gives a general preference for flying, but it does not answer the central comparison: whether environmental benefits from reducing flights outweigh the disadvantages. The opening says it is “more useful to visit from one country to another,” and the conclusion focuses on benefits to individuals, businesses and government, without discussing environmental effects such as emissions or pollution. The discussion of ticket prices and business travel is relevant to possible disadvantages, but the ideas are unclear and not supported with specific reasons or examples. The response also falls short of the required minimum length, leaving the argument substantially underdeveloped. To improve, state a direct position on the environmental benefits and compare these with clearly explained effects on people and businesses, using relevant examples.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
There is a basic attempt to organise the response with an opening, a point introduced by “Firstly,” a contrasting section beginning “on the other hand,” and a conclusion. These markers help the reader recognise the intended stages. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the first body paragraph combines business travel, holidays, transactions and business expansion without explaining their relationship. The contrast about ticket prices is also unclear, and the conclusion repeats the idea of going abroad rather than resolving the question. Some linking expressions, including “Moreover” and “However,” do not clearly show the relationship between adjacent ideas. Use one main idea per paragraph, explain it in sequence, and make each transition express a precise connection.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The response uses some vocabulary relevant to travel and commerce, including “businessman,” “tickets,” “revenue,” “transactions” and “expand their business.” This gives the reader a general sense of the topic. However, the range is limited, and several inaccurate or misspelled expressions make the meaning less clear, such as “non proficiable,” “expactations” and “pricies.” Some phrases are also unnatural, for example “take business in their country” and “for both for nationally or internationally.” Build a more precise vocabulary for the actual question, including terms for environmental effects and the costs of reduced travel. Check spelling and learn common collocations, such as “conduct business,” “ticket prices” and “expand a business internationally.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response attempts both simple and longer sentence forms, and the use of clauses such as “when a businessman go another country” shows an effort to explain circumstances. However, control is inconsistent, and errors often make relationships between ideas difficult to understand. For example, “when a businessman go” has incorrect subject–verb agreement, while “he booked his tickets” shifts into an unsuitable past form. The sentence beginning “In this situation government should low the pricies” also has unclear structure, and punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, particularly at sentence beginnings. Practise accurate present-tense patterns and build longer sentences around one clear main clause, checking agreement, articles and punctuation before adding further ideas.
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