Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, there is an ongoing debate about this develpment. Businessmen and other travellers have started diminishing the quantity of flights they take or they have stopped completely. Although there are some disadvantages of this development, however I think that, there are more potential benefits than it's drawbacks.

On the one hand, the major pros of avoiding travelling by airplanes is that it can save a lot of money. Because flights todays are too much expensive and it takes a big amount of money from our savings and income. Futhermore, it is beneficial for those people who are sensitive and cannot travel by a plane. This development can lead to more advancement in trains and busses so that people can travel easily by these vehicles.

On the other hand, there are some drawbacks of this viewpoint. Flights can save a lot of time of the busy individuals particularly the businessmen. People can travel swiftly by airplanes than any other source like trains and boats. In addition, it can be a hurdle for delegations and for official visitors. Flights are a source of privacy for someone who cannot share his travel routine. For example, prime ministers travel by flights so if they are completely stopped it will be a threat to their lives.

To conclude with my opinion, flights should be reduced due to environmental concerns and cost however it's complete reduction can effect the privacy of officials.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear overall view that reducing flights is worthwhile, and you include disadvantages as well as benefits. However, the response only partly answers the central comparison: the environmental benefits are not explained, despite being the main reason in the question. Instead, the benefits discussed are saving money, helping people who cannot fly, and encouraging better trains and buses. The disadvantages about business travel and officials’ privacy are relevant, but the example about prime ministers is asserted rather than explained. Your conclusion briefly repeats your position without weighing the effects on individuals and businesses against environmental gains. The response is also 12 words below the required minimum. Develop the environmental case and support both sides with specific consequences or examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The signposts “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “To conclude” help readers follow the broad organisation. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes weak: the first body paragraph moves from cost to travel sensitivity and then to investment in other transport without explaining how these points connect. The opening phrase “Although … however” uses two contrasting signals together, and some transitions feel mechanical. The conclusion also introduces privacy again rather than clearly synthesising the comparison. Group related ideas more tightly and use linking phrases to show cause, contrast, or consequence, rather than relying mainly on standard paragraph markers.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “environmental concerns,” “delegations,” “official visitors,” and “privacy.” There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “ongoing debate” and “potential benefits.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “diminishing the quantity of flights” is awkward, “flights todays are too much expensive” is not idiomatic, and “a hurdle for delegations” does not clearly express the intended problem. Spelling errors such as “develpment,” “Futhermore,” and “busses” are noticeable. Choose more natural topic collocations and check spelling; for example, use “reduce the number of flights,” “air travel is expensive,” and “an obstacle to official travel.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in the introduction and a conditional structure in “if they are completely stopped.” Most of the meaning remains understandable, but errors occur in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation. For example, “the major pros … is” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “Because flights todays are too much expensive…” is a sentence fragment. The opening “Although … however” is also structurally awkward, and commas are misplaced in “I think that, there are…” In the conclusion, “it’s complete reduction can effect” contains errors in the possessive form and verb choice. Practise building complete sentences and checking agreement, articles, and punctuation, while retaining your attempts at complex structures.

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