Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-07-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.
Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Along with the growing importance people attach to environmental and businesses, it is argued by some individuals that people should reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether. As far as I concerned, although it has negative effects for individuals and businesses, I agree that the environmental advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages.
There are various reasons why decrease the number of times people fly every year has disadvantage for individuals and businesses. Nowadays, more international companies enter the local market, they have to fly every month or every week. If they stop flying altogether, it reduce their income, and they can not have comprehensive development. In addition, airplanes are the fastest transport, therefore people stop flying altogether lead to reduce tourism, and it decrease local income and employment rate, which in turn leads to decline people's happiness.
However, it is clear that there are more environmental advantages than disadvantages for individuals and businesses. Firstly, traveling by plane lead to environmental pollution and gas emissions, these pollutants into the air and water, it can produce a greenhouse effect. In addition, the making of airplane need wide use of chemicals, fuels and oil, it harms the environment. If people consume natural resources too much, it causes the exhaustion of resources, because the resources can not grow back quickly.
In conclusion, my firm stance is that there are more environmental benefits if people reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether. It is therefore reasonable to suggest that governments can invest in high-speed rail and international railways. Let replace airplane with low-carbon transport , it can reduce the pressure for people to choose flights.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
这篇回应涵盖了题目的所有部分,立场清晰,认为环境效益大于弊端。观点切题,但论证略显单薄。例如,关于国际公司的论点是一个很好的切入点,但缺乏具体细节或深度来充分探讨经济影响。同样,环境部分提到了污染和资源枯竭,但如果能更有效地与飞行这一具体行为联系起来会更好。结论部分提出了关于替代交通工具的相关建议,这有助于使文章更完整。为了获得更高的分数,请确保每个观点都有更详细的解释或具体的例子作为支撑。
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
文章段落逻辑清晰,有明确的引言、正文段落和结论。使用了 'In addition', 'However' 和 'In conclusion' 等衔接词,有助于引导读者理解论点。然而,一些过渡显得生硬或略有重复,段落内句子的连贯性可以进一步加强。例如,从飞行的环境影响过渡到化学品使用时显得有些突兀。总体而言,观点推进清晰,分段也符合任务要求。
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
词汇量基本满足任务要求,能够清晰表达观点。文章尝试使用了一些更高级的语言,如 'comprehensive development' 和 'exhaustion of resources'。然而,存在一些词汇选择不当和搭配错误,例如 'decrease the number of times people fly'(应为 'decreasing')以及 'the making of airplane'(应为 'the manufacturing of airplanes')。词汇范围足以传达含义,但更精确、多样的词汇将提升论证质量。
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
文章使用了简单句和复杂句的混合结构。虽然意思基本清晰,但频繁的语法错误有时会影响阅读流畅度。例如主谓一致问题('it reduce their income', 'it decrease local income')和表达生硬('As far as I concerned')。标点符号使用也不一致,特别是在第二和第三段中出现了逗号拼接错误。虽然作者尝试使用复杂结构,但掌控力不足。专注于基础的主谓一致并优化句子结构将有助于提高写作的准确性。
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