Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.
Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In the modern life, some individuals have chosen to decline the number of times they fly every year or to shut flying altogether. In this essay, I will discuss my opinion about the aircrafts with some suitable examples.
On the one hand, firstly, when peoples reduce the numbers of travelling from one place to another spot, they saved the money which they spent for the transportation. Secondly the air is not affected with the petrol and diesel oil, and everybody gain the fresh oxygen, and they do not face the oxygen problems and numbers of oxygen patient is reduced in the hostel. For example, one airplane is collapse in the sea and many sea animals affect majority of the fish.
On the other hand, many peoples built the company in the foreign space and for attending the meeting they are travelling other spot. When individual do not travel the company is not grow well because in company need a lot of planning for gain the benefits. Moreover, mostly students go to the foreign countries for the higher education after completing the matric exam, and after completing the degree they get the good jobs, therefore the airline is necessary for the students. For instance, in 2016, when the airline is closed in the Pakistan many peoples face the problems during the time and got the loss in the company for shut the aircraft.
In conclusion, when peoples reduced time for travelling, they get the fresh and cool air which are very important for our body, and when they do not travel, they get the loss in the business.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the environmental benefits and the disadvantages for businesses and individuals. However, the development of ideas is limited and often unclear. For instance, the argument regarding 'oxygen patients' and 'hostels' is confusing and lacks logical grounding. Similarly, the example of an airplane collapsing in the sea is vague and does not effectively support the environmental argument. The position is present but lacks depth, and the essay relies on over-generalizations. To improve, you should focus on providing more relevant, well-explained examples and ensuring that each point directly answers the specific question asked.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the progression of ideas is often disjointed. While you use basic cohesive devices like 'On the one hand' and 'In conclusion', the internal logic within paragraphs is weak. For example, the transition between the environmental impact and the 'hostel' example is abrupt. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the use of 'they' without a clear antecedent. To achieve a higher score, focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices and ensuring that each sentence flows logically from the previous one to create a more unified argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and often inaccurate. There are several instances of incorrect word choice, such as 'shut flying' instead of 'stop flying', 'petrol and diesel oil' to describe air pollution, and 'foreign space' instead of 'foreign countries'. The phrase 'numbers of oxygen patient is reduced in the hostel' is particularly problematic as it uses vocabulary in a way that does not convey the intended meaning. You need to work on using more precise vocabulary and learning common collocations related to environmental and business topics to improve your ability to express complex ideas clearly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'peoples reduce', 'company is not grow'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple, and attempts at more complex structures often result in errors, such as 'when the airline is closed in the Pakistan many peoples face the problems'. Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically verb tenses and pluralization, before attempting more complex grammatical structures. Proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement would significantly enhance the clarity of your writing.
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