Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this modern era, public transportation has been escalating due to development of technology . Some individuals should decided to less use of fly every year or to close flying altogether. There are several benefits of environment such as less air pollution overshadow drawback of people as well as businesses such as less revenue generate for any nations.

Commencing with the merits of environmental is that if people can less use of fly vehicles for one place to another place , they can reduce air quality which may occur excessive use of flying vehicles . To explain, nowadays this can lead to less air pollution as a results this can increase clean air quality of any nations. Another benefit is that this can also save fossil fuel because the majority of individual prefer to go one place to another by cars and other options which are generally available in the market. To cite an instance , in the UK and Canada nations have been starting less utilize of air travel just because of environment merits.

Nonetheless, there are several drawbacks which can be considered . Firstly, plenty of businesses might be occurred negative impact such as less profit as well as less economic generate the flying travel. To explain, when many individuals are flying stop which will face financial loss in multiple businesses. To cite an example, STAR flying company has been losing because multiple people who are not using travelling fly rather than other options. Secondly, individuals may lose their jobs and positions where they can work in this kind of companies.

In conclusions, there are several benefits of environmental such as less air pollution and reduce fossil fuels demand . However, there are some demerits such as loss of economic and lose job opportunities particularly young generations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both environmental benefits and the drawbacks for businesses and individuals. However, the development of ideas is limited. While the environmental benefits are mentioned, the explanation is repetitive and lacks depth. The discussion on economic drawbacks is also somewhat superficial, relying on vague examples like 'STAR flying company'. To improve, you should provide more specific, well-reasoned arguments and ensure that your position is clearly maintained throughout the essay. The conclusion is brief and merely summarizes the points rather than synthesizing them into a final, cohesive perspective.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, phrases like 'Commencing with the merits of environmental is that' are grammatically awkward and do not function well as transitions. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between sentences is occasionally disjointed. While there is a logical progression from introduction to body paragraphs and conclusion, the lack of sophisticated linking words and the repetitive nature of the sentence structures hinder the overall coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'less use of fly' instead of 'reducing air travel' and 'less economic generate' instead of 'reduced economic growth'. The phrasing is often unnatural, which occasionally makes the meaning difficult to follow. To reach a higher band, you need to expand your range of vocabulary and focus on using words in their correct context. Avoid repeating basic terms like 'less' and 'benefits' and try to incorporate more precise academic terminology related to the environment and economics.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement, word order, and sentence structure. For instance, 'Some individuals should decided to less use of fly' is grammatically incorrect and confusing. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the attempts at them are often faulty, leading to errors that occasionally impede communication. Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and ensuring that your verb tenses and word forms are accurate before attempting more complex grammatical structures.

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